People walking to the stage took up 10% of the Golden Globes broadcast


Actress Amy Adams accepts her best actress award at the 2014 Golden Globes. She was the quickest winner to the stage. (AP Photo/NBC, Paul Drinkwater)

The Golden Globes were a disaster of table arrangement. That’s not just the griping of the Twitter masses, but a matter of actual, verifiable fact: We timed how long it took the winners in every category to get to the stage, and the answer is … way longer than necessary.

 

On average, winners took 29 seconds to kiss their significant others, shake hands with their tablemates and navigate the long and winding walk from their seats to the stage. “Dancing on the Edge” star Jacqueline Bisset took the longest time, at a meandering 66 seconds; Amy Adams did a little American hustle of her own, reaching the stage in a tidy 11 seconds. (For the record, we’re counting from the moment the winner is announced to the moment she shakes hands with the announcer.) The full list of times:

Jennifer Lawrence (best supporting actress, film): 20 seconds
Jacqueline Bisset (best supporting actress, TV): 66 seconds
Cast of “Candelabra” (best mini-series or TV movie): 44 seconds
Elisabeth Moss (best actress, mini-series or TV movie): 45 seconds
Bryan Cranston (best actor, drama TV series): 41 seconds
Cast of “Breaking Bad” (best drama TV series): 51 seconds
Alex Ebert (best original score): 31 seconds
U2 (best original song): 41 seconds
Jon Voight (best supporting actor, TV): 32 seconds
Amy Adams (best actress, comedy movie): 11 seconds
Robin Wright (best actress, TV drama): 33 seconds
Jared Leto (best supporting actor, film): 24 seconds
Spike Jonze (best screenplay): 17 seconds
Andy Samberg (best actor, comedy TV series): 30 seconds
Cast of “The Great Beauty” (best foreign film): 35 seconds
Michael Douglas (best actor, mini-series or TV movie): 29 seconds
Cast of “Frozen” (best animated film): 18 seconds
Amy Poehler (best actress, comedy TV series): 22 seconds
Alfonso Cuaron (best director): 31 seconds
Cast of “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” (best comedy series): 33 seconds
Leonardo DiCaprio (best actor, comedy film): 12 seconds
Cast of “American Hustle” (best comedy film): 15 seconds
Cate Blanchett (best actress, drama): 33 seconds
Matthew (best actor, drama): 29 seconds
Cast of “12 Years a Slave” (best motion picture, drama): 31 seconds

So all totaled, 12 minutes of the 122-minute broadcast (that’s how long it was minus commercials) — almost 10 percent!! — consisted of nothing but people walking to the stage. (Perhaps more winners could follow Robin Wright’s lead next time … not that running necessarily helped.)

 

Caitlin Dewey runs The Intersect blog, writing about digital and Internet culture. Before joining the Post, she was an associate online editor at Kiplinger’s Personal Finance.
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