Dear fellow minions: A warlock that only surrounds himself with the greatest goddesses and plans his life around a model of success and victory will be gracing us with his presence in the District this evening. We should all kneel in his royal presence. Or, just boo the hell out of him when he makes a Marion Barry joke. It's only Charlie Sheen. He can take it.
Monday was quite a day for river rescues. After tide waters pulverized the Washington Harbor in Georgetown — a situation that will probably hurt business at the complex for the better part of the year — authorities swung into action to save a woman who was clinging to a tree after her kayak capsized in rising Potomac River waters in Dickerson, Md. And before that, 20 Boy Ccouts were airlifted to safety when they were trapped in a similar predicament at White's Ferry. The Post's Justin Jouvenal and Michael E. Ruane report on the wild weather day, including video of the kayaker's rescue.
I always thought that Indiana Jones was the most famous archaeologist in the world. Apparently, I was wrong. It turns out that Dr. Zahi Hawass, who goes by "Dr. Zahi," has been responsible for taking care of Egypt's massive ancient collection of artifacts and historical sites for years. But since the uprisings against former leader Hosni Mubarak rocked the nation, he's been struggling to prevent looting and pillaging at sacred locations. And as The Post's Philip Kennicott reports, he's also been doing everything he can to distance himself from the now-deposed president.
It's easy to make fun of "Twilight" fans, but it's scary to consider how many people take the concept of vampirism so seriously. Over the weekend, the Arlington Sheraton National hotel held a convention for fans of the popular movie franchise, and it brought out quite the collection of oddballs. Pardon my ignorance here, but ComPost's Alexandra Petri did all of us non-blood suckers a favor and went to the event to report on just what these people think about the political world, if compared to Volturi and werewolves.
Being a vegan is the toughest dietary choice for anyone living in America. Bypassing all animal products from your food to your clothes is nearly impossible, and for those who tackle that noble task, I salute you. Last year, President Bill Clinton said he had moved to a "plant-based diet" for health reasons and lost a bunch of weight in the process. But questions about the lifestyle are still rampant. Author Carol J. Adams tackles five myths about veganism, and explains why for men it's not emasculating.
The unveiling of the NFL schedule is the unofficial beginning of the season for many football fans. Although teams already know who they'll play based on the previous season's standings, when the league finally releases the actual fixtures, things get real. Unfortunately, there's a labor dispute hanging over the league right now, so no one knows if any of the dates will matter at all come fall. But, The Post's Mike Jones offers a quick preview of the Redskins' opponents before the NFL's official announcement at 7 p.m. tonight.
• I will quote directly from Slate's Christopher Hitchens: "A hereditary monarch, observed Thomas Paine, is as absurd a proposition as a hereditary doctor or mathematician." Needless to say, Hitchens wonders whether Kate Middleton really wants to marry into the British royal family.
• William Donald Schaefer was the first governor's name I can ever remember knowing. The former Baltimore mayor basically ran everything in Maryland at one time or another, holding multiple state offices in his political career. He died Monday at 89.
• Least surprising headline of the day: "Customer satisfaction plummets at Pepco." You don't say.
Don’t forget, I’ll be breaking down the day’s biggest local stories live today at noon.
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