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Posted at 01:12 PM ET, 06/15/2011

Lunchline: Whole Foods is no joke

The one and only time I've seen the U.S. Men's National Soccer team play at RFK Stadium was in October 1997 against Jamaica. It was legitimately one of the most thrilling sports days of my life. The two play again, at the same place, in the Gold Cup on Sunday. Do yourself a favor if you claim to be a footy fan: Go to the game.

The AIDS problem in the District is not getting better. Despite valiant efforts by the city's brass to curb the infection rate,
it turns out that numbers from 2009 that indicated a decline in new cases were based only on preliminary data, and thus were effectively insignificant. The city still has the highest AIDS rate in the country at more than 3 percent, If you're counting, 1 percent is what the World Heath Organization qualifies as epidemic level. The Post's Lena H. Sun reports on the latest concerning D.C.'s "dismal public health picture."

Life is getting shorter in the U.S., according to a new study. Researchers from the University of Washington have concluded that not only is this country falling behind other industrialized nations in life expectancy, but also that women born today are likely to live shorter lives than their mothers. Interestingly, they found that Fairfax County has the longest life expectancy for men in the country, The Post's David Brown reports.
SLUG: SS/UFO DATE: 10/06/2007 BYLINE Dayna Smith/ftwp CAPTION: A meeting of UFO believers at Logan's Roadhouse Restaurant in Fairfax, VA. Sue Swiatek (Dayna Smith - DAYNA SMITH/FTWP)
You know what else Fairfax has? A bunch of people who think UFOs are landing in their backyards.

I remember when I was done with third grade. The next year we were moving to a new campus, my friend Chloe did the "speech" and I wore a clip-on tie. It seemed like the longest event in the world, and then I walked across the stage. I can't remember if there was music. That whole routine didn't happen again for another 10 years for me. These days, similar ceremonies are happening at a more frequent clip for students in the area, and some parents think it's too much. The Post's Steve Hendrix reports on how elementary school graduations have become a growth market.

While the D.C. Council argued over how to spend $10 billion yesterday, the city's finest were dealing with a bizarre situation in Northwest. A man with a history of mental illness attacked a police officer with a jailhouse-style sharpened screwdriver, prompting a near lockdown of all of Mount Pleasant while authorities dealt with the suspect, who then barricaded himself inside a house. The Post's Clarence Williams reports on the sad story of what happened when the 55-year-old man refused to comply with D.C. police.

I'm going to go ahead and assume that Ryan Zimmermanreads this newsletter.
Washington Nationals' Jayson Werth, right, and Ryan Zimmerman (11) celebrate after the Nationals beat the St. Louis Cardinals 8-6, Tuesday, June 14, 2011. (Ann Heisenfelt - AP)
After Adam Kilgore reminded folks that the All-Star third baseman was coming back to the Nationals after nearly two months on the disabled list, Zimmerman helped spark a six-run rally in a comeback win over the Cardinals yesterday. Clearly he was motivated by my mention. The Post's James Wagner reports on the fireworks at Nats Park last night.

Extra Bites

• I don't shop at Whole Foods, but I have been in their parking lots occasionally. And if you live in Clarendon or Rockville, you know what this video is all about. This also goes down as easily the best use of the word "quinoa" in a non-recipe context. Ever.

• Confession: This newsletter is actually written by a lesbian blogger. Not really, but Slate's Jack Shaferinvestigates why it's apparently a thing to imitate them these days.

• Looking for a snooty summer drink to start sucking down this summer? Here you go.

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By  |  01:12 PM ET, 06/15/2011

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