The one and only time I've seen the U.S. Men's National Soccer team play at RFK Stadium was in October 1997 against Jamaica. It was legitimately one of the most thrilling sports days of my life. The two play again, at the same place, in the Gold Cup on Sunday. Do yourself a favor if you claim to be a footy fan: Go to the game.
I remember when I was done with third grade. The next year we were moving to a new campus, my friend Chloe did the "speech" and I wore a clip-on tie. It seemed like the longest event in the world, and then I walked across the stage. I can't remember if there was music. That whole routine didn't happen again for another 10 years for me. These days, similar ceremonies are happening at a more frequent clip for students in the area, and some parents think it's too much. The Post's Steve Hendrix reports on how elementary school graduations have become a growth market.
While the D.C. Council argued over how to spend $10 billion yesterday, the city's finest were dealing with a bizarre situation in Northwest. A man with a history of mental illness attacked a police officer with a jailhouse-style sharpened screwdriver, prompting a near lockdown of all of Mount Pleasant while authorities dealt with the suspect, who then barricaded himself inside a house. The Post's Clarence Williams reports on the sad story of what happened when the 55-year-old man refused to comply with D.C. police.
• I don't shop at Whole Foods, but I have been in their parking lots occasionally. And if you live in Clarendon or Rockville, you know what this video is all about. This also goes down as easily the best use of the word "quinoa" in a non-recipe context. Ever.
• Confession: This newsletter is actually written by a lesbian blogger. Not really, but Slate's Jack Shaferinvestigates why it's apparently a thing to imitate them these days.
• Looking for a snooty summer drink to start sucking down this summer? Here you go.