BREAKING: Mitt Romney is a bit awkward.
Reporters at his retreat in Utah on Friday got a little refresher course in Romney's awkwardness when he dropped this little gem on them.
Romney about 2016 buzz: "The unavailable is always the most attractive, right? That goes in dating as well.”
— Philip Rucker (@PhilipRucker) June 13, 2014
Romney, you see, has a way with words. And by that, we mean he has a way of sounding like your nerdy dad trying to be a little too "hip." (To Romney's credit, we have found no documentation of him using the word "hip.")
Here are some of our favorite Romneyisms:
1. "I'm learning to say 'y'all' and I like grits. Strange things are happening to me."
2. "Yeah, handsome, great big guy, seven feet tall! Name is Rick Miller — Portland, Oregon. And he started a business. Of course you know it was in basketball. But it wasn't in basketball! I mean, I figured he had to be in sport, but he wasn't in sport." (Sport!)
3. "I like music of almost any kind — including this." (From 1994, we know. But still.)
4. “This feels good, being back in Michigan. You know, the trees are the right height." (He repeated this one several times, for reasons nobody can discern.)
5. "Oh, I’ve got glitter in my hair. That’s not all that’s in my hair, I'll tell you that. I glue it on every morning, whether I need to or not.”
6. “I’m not sure about these cookies. They don't look like you made them. … They came from the local 7-Eleven … bakery or wherever.” (Spoiler: They were homemade.)
7. "I've always been a rodent and rabbit hunter — small varmints, if you will. I began when I was 15 or so and I have hunted those kinds of varmints since then."
8. “And you can't find any oxygen from outside the aircraft to get in the aircraft, because the windows don’t open. I don't know why they don't do that. It’s a real problem. So it’s very dangerous." (He was apparently trying to be funny.)
9. "I'm Mitt Romney and yes, Wolf, that's also my first name.” (At a debate, after Wolf Blitzer introduced himself as "I'm Wolf Blitzer and, yes, that's my real name.'")
10. “I like those fancy raincoats you bought. Really sprung for the big bucks.”
11. "What's up, gangstas? It's the M-I-Double-Tizzle." (OK, so he was doing Letterman's Top Ten list. But still.)
12. "I like silly stuff, too. I like the 'Twilight' series. That was fun."
13. "You had your turn madam, let me have mine ... Let me complete. I'm sorry, it’s my turn.” (Let me complete? Madam?)
14. “I actually like jokes as well as things that are sort of fun.”
15. "Lemon. Wet. Good." (Describing his lemonade, naturally.)
16. "That's a big lava lamp. Congratulations."
17. "I don't like vampires personally. I don’t know any.”
And of course no list would be complete without ...