It’s crucial to every criminal’s street cred to have a cool nickname. And so we bring you Christopher “Buddha” Corey, who is wanted by the Manassas City police for burglary and grand larceny.
How did such a friendly looking fellow pick up the handle “Buddha”? He doesn’t have a shaved head, and he’s 6’1” and 165 pounds, so he’s not particularly large. Is he down with Siddhartha? Is he all about the Four Noble Truths? If you know the answers to this, you probably know where Buddha is, so call the Manassas City cops at 703-330-0330.
Buddha’s invisibility reminds me of a story I wrote a couple of years ago about a guy named Kenneth “Butta” Whack, wanted for burglaries near Metro stations.
Now “Butta Whack” has a nice flow, but it’s more likely to remind you of a Mike Myers Saturday Night Live sketch than, say, Gregory “The Grim Reaper” Scarpa. Plus, Butta’s mom saw my story, dropped a dime and turned him in. So she obviously didn’t fear him. He’s now cycling through various area jails while being prosecuted for his alleged violations.
Buddha. Butta. “It’s such a thin line between clever and stupid,” the deep-thinking David St. Hubbins once said.