Stop everything. Beyoncé Knowles is performing during halftime show of the Super Bowl 2013 in New Orleans. Excitement is spreading throughout the land.
Full disclosure: I am a Beyoncé stan. I seriously considered applying to be Blue Ivy’s au pair, and I still remember the “Crazy in Love” choreography.
But here is the thing: you don’t have to love Queen Bey to understand what this could mean for all of us. A Beyoncé performance just brings things out of people. She makes all of our lives exponentially better, whether you want to admit it, or not. Here’s how:
She makes fans forget about their shortcomings.
If Beyoncé comes up to you with a microphone during a concert, would you turn her away just because you sound like a mule being strangled when you sing? Nope. You’re going to belt right into that mike, and even if your embarrassing video is plastered all over YouTube, you were still the one who was inches away from The Queen.
She keeps the rest of the music industry on its toes.
We all have at least one friend who knew the choreography to Beyoncé’s “Ring the Alarm” performance at the 2006 VMAs. Back when Ciara was revolutionizing “The Matrix,” Beyoncé actually managed to take it a step further — remaining in a mid-air backbend for about two days. The performance had notes of Janet Jackson’s “Rhythm Nation” video and allowed Tough Beyoncé to surface. Wins all around.
She will make you cry...
When most performers release live performance videos as the only visual interpretation of their song, it comes off as laziness. Where is the “acting”? The worst of the recession is over. Come up with a better excuse. But the video for “I Was Here,” shot live at Roseland Ballroom in New York City, was every bit as touching as the song itself. Most performers’ inspirational songs never get performed on stage, but are shoved on one of the last tracks of the album. Not only did Beyoncé perform this song live, but the YouTube video has been watched over 9 million times.
…and then, she will teach you how to cry better.
She has an all-girl band!
Even the most virulent Beyoncé hater knows deep down in their shriveled, eggplant-colored hearts that the notion of an all-woman band is awesome and empowering. Have you ever, in your life, heard Divinity Roxx, Beyoncé’s bass player, play solo? That is just pure talent.
She was making memes before we knew what the word “meme” meant.
Last, where would we be without the “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)” video and all of the subsequent live performances? You know where we would be? In a world where Justin Timberlake never found the occasion to do this:
If you’re excited about Beyoncé performing at Super Bowl XLVII, tell us why in the comments! If you’re not so excited, you can tell us that, too. Just remember, all-out hatred of Beyoncé, as a person, is so passé.
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