Most Read: Opinions

direct signup

Today’s Opinions poll

Would you use an app that tells you the partisan affiliation of products you're considering buying?

Review your answers and share

Join a Discussion

There are no discussions scheduled today.

Weekly schedule, past shows

Tom Toles
Posted at 07:20 AM ET, 10/27/2011

Another one bites the dust

Oh, well. Another rare species with three feet in the grave. Cute little story about it. Sharks, nautilus, rhinos, whatever. Hard to keep up. Seven billion people need lebensraum, after all. And societies are aging, so come on, people, get out there and procreate so you can take care of the oldsters!

Where are we going with this? It’s pretty clear. All those wild animals are a luxury we can no longer afford. Oh, okay, maybe keep a couple around for funny Youtubes. What’s a species worth in actual dollars, anyway? Check the menu! Picture instead a planet planted coast to coast with corn on every continent. From sea to sterile sea! Pretty inspiring if your idea of life is a perpetual dinner-theater production of Oklahoma. We can put in some corn mazes. That will be a fun planet.

Hey, we can’t save everything! We’re busy! We’re busy destroying everything. The whole planet is currently in the final climactic phase where we are strip-mining every edible or decorative or burnable thing in our frenzy to satisfy ourselves. There’s always corn! Until the climate changes, and ruins that too. THEN we’ll be satisfied, I guess.

By  |  07:20 AM ET, 10/27/2011

Read what others are saying

    © 2011 The Washington Post Company