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Tom Toles
Posted at 07:15 AM ET, 06/28/2012

Charlie Brown kicked the ball

The real health care issue in the US is blood pressure, and it’s the blood pressure that went up when Lucy pulled the football away one more time but Charlie Brown managed to kick it anyway. Call in the refs!

The GOP had perfected the dark art of football-pulling. It was reasonably simple. See what the Democrats wanted to do, then offer a compromise. Whenever the Democrats agreed to the compromise, find another reason to object. The ball this time around was the Individual Mandate. Republican idea. Compromise idea. Offered in good faiiiiiiiiii...whoops! You actually want to kick it??? Not so fast! “Pull that ball!” goes the chant rising from the GOP bench. Ball pulled.

But wait! Obama doesn’t run by, do a leg whiff and land on his back. He stops, looks at the ball up in the air in Lucy’s hands, takes aim, and kicks it. We switch here to slow-motion. Lucy’s mouth twists into a horrified N O O O O O O as the ball leaves her hands. She and the astonished GOP bench turn their heads in unison towards the goal posts. Through. The ref raises his hands. A score. P a n d e m o n i u m.

Back to regular speed. The GOP coach comes out and screams “Unconstitutional.” Not the kick, though. “The BALL ITSELF was unconstitutional!,” he howls, “We should know! It’s our ball!” The entire GOP suddenly has a new argument, drawn out of the thin air between Lucy’s empty hands. They begin to chant it. All the way up to the Supreme Refs.

By  |  07:15 AM ET, 06/28/2012

 
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