I want to carve a sphinx. That’s what I want to do, among other impractical things. I also want to build a cathedral and carve the gargoyles too. I’d like to help carve that Crazy Horse monument if they’re still working on it. I want to build Stonehenge.
Maybe this is symptomatic of some kind of grandiosity disorder. Disorder is, I sometimes think, the only order I have. But I like to make things. Things that are nice to look at. Big things that are nice to look at. Big things that will last a very long time that are nice to look at. Pyramids are big things that last a very long time and are nice to look at, but I don’t want to build pyramids. Pyramids are a little too plain. Boring to build, and hard if you’re the one pulling the block up the sandy ramp.
I want to dig a cave that’s huge and beautiful and lit in some enchanting way. And with side passageways that connect with other caves and passageways that go down to where it’s hot and you could put in a geothermal pool to frolic in, maybe ringed by some classical columns. And an urn or two, for sure. (Did anyone see photos of that underground space they carved in NY for a new subway line?)
I don’t talk about these secret (not so secret anymore) desires, because when I do, I discover that these are not exactly universal fantasies. And as far as I know there is no fetish website for large-scale monument-art construction. But I still don’t think it’s all so very shameful.