The Washington Post

New iPhones!

If you look a little closer, those people over there are not necessarily doing much of anything on those smartphones of theirs, other than looking more busy than you. I occasionally watch, because there is a public affect of smartphone-using I have always considered highly suspect. I base this on my own experience of texting or checking emails. Not all that exciting. And yet those others!

Those others seem so intent. So riveted. A fabulous little world they’ve got going on in there. So fabulous, in fact, that every spare second demands a return to the glowing little universe. But sometimes I watch. On the Metro, there verily amongst the living dead, the zombies too tired even to eat each other’s brains just now. Rolling along calibrating how much personal space to claim or yield. Exactly how much of a colossal jerk you can get away with being by leaving your bag on the seat next to you when you can plainly see people standing all around you. They can ASK you to move your freaking bag if they need to sit so badly! Make them WORK for it. Make them suffer the awkwardness of having to ask a total stranger to have a crumb of consideration and then suffer the horridness of your gloomy face as you move your heavy crap off the seat for them. They will fully PAY FOR the experience of sitting next to YOU.

Wow, I’m am really drifting far off my point here, which was tenuous to begin with. Back to those fascinating smartphones! I watched. Just like the NSA. Snooping. Prying. Invading privacy. Yes yes yes I did! My discovery? The person I was watching checked their email. Nothing new there. Messages checked. Nothing. Email checked again a minute later. Still nothing. Loser friends! Need to get a new phone with better ones in there.

Tom Toles is the editorial cartoonist for The Post and writes the Tom Toles blog. See all of his cartoons here.


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