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Weekly schedule, past shows

Tom Toles
Posted at 07:15 AM ET, 02/05/2013

Spoilsport alert

I missed the Super Bowl this year. It was the, let's see, how many have I missed now? Oh, yeah, all of them. No I have never seen an entire Super Bowl. No, I'm not  proud, nor ashamed. I'm aware there is a certain cultural expectation that one will be interested in this event, and it's about tribal something something and loyalties and rooting interest and betting and The Ads and food and I'm zzzzzzzzz.

Beyonce! We can think about Beyonce for awhile. A website I visit put up video of her halftime performance, and of course everybody was watching her "lips" to see if she was actually singing! This is clearly a first-world problem, worrying about whether a singer is singing at the time we are watching her. ARE we in fact worrying about this? I'm told we are. I read a lot about how worried we needed to be whether Beyonce sang the National Anthem at the Inauguration, I guess because nothing else important happened there that day. So everyone was watching her "lips" which was quite a feat since it was pretty clear everyone was also watching her "thighs." Well produced, the show, that is, but I didn't make it all the way through the thrill -packed seven minutes anyway.

But that was merely a distraction, as were the "The Ads" to the main thing the night was about. I'm presuming that the event is no longer quite so much about which team has been injected with more steroids than the other team, though I'm guessing that's still part of the equation.  No, it's about an athletic competition between two teams that in some way signify certain cities that the players are not from, and also different "coasts" of the United States that we are to prefer one of to the other, for reasons of proximity, I think. But all this is secondary to the main thing, the Sport Itself, in which the athletes sacrifice their brain health for our enjoyment and we should be grateful to them for that.  

By  |  07:15 AM ET, 02/05/2013

 
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