The business of gardening

I like to garden. I like plants, and I like the emotional context you can create from groupings of them.

I like garden TV shows, or would if I watched more TV, or cared enough about TV to think it was worth the money cable costs to get it, but I don’t, so I don’t, so whatever. But I still remember the most awkward garden show moment ever (what a category!) from a show I saw sometime or other. Before. Before now. Earlier. Back a ways. The garden expert came to a corporate atrium garden, to talk large-scale indoor gardening with the plants’ caretaker! Not all THAT promising, but they had a season of shows to fill! The atrium had plants! Somebody must do something in there! They went around a bit saying this looked nice, and that, and told how the watering system was automatic. Then the big question! “So how you maintain the health of this environment?”

The caretaker then demonstrated. When he saw a yellowing leaf, he cut it off! Here’s one! Snip! Here’s another! Snip. You could tell the host was looking for something a tad more sophisticated than this, and groped forward, after a pause. “What else? What about larger garden health concerns?” And then the answer. “If I see that a plant has more issues than just a leaf or two, I remove the plant and throw it away and install a new one.” A stopper, that. There was nowhere else to take the conversation. At all.

Why, they treat their plants just like employees!

Tom Toles is the editorial cartoonist for The Post and writes the Tom Toles blog.

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