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Tom Toles
Posted at 07:15 AM ET, 06/20/2012

We’re moving up the election date

Let’s have the election next week. I know it’s soon. Except, no it’s not soon. Not soon enough. This campaign has gone on for long enough already. Years it seems. Since Reagan, at least! We’ve heard it all already. “Obama didn’t fix the Depression yet.” “Romney will take us back to just prior to the Depression.” There you have it in a nutshell, which is what the nation has come to resemble. You’ve already made up your mind. Even if you say you’re “undecided,” that’s just something you say because you like the attention of pollsters.

And here’s a better idea still. Let’s skip the election altogether and flip a coin. The Trillion Dollar Platinum Coin would be a good choice. Campaign strategy has succeeded in doing two things. Aiming for 50.1% of the electorate is one of them. This allows maximum base-pandering while still giving a shot at victory. The other thing is generating such divisive language that we never recover after the elections anymore. A coin toss would help solve the latter, and be fair enough because of the former, and probably just as accurate if you compare it against the Electoral College and Supreme Court.

Is there anyone who wants to hear the rest of the campaign? Hands? Another four months of hearing how neither candidate to be the next president of the United States is qualified to carry out the garbage, let alone preside over the Greatest Democracy Money Has Ever Ruined? And speaking of money, then we could use the Platinum Coin to pay off our debt (you can look it up).

By  |  07:15 AM ET, 06/20/2012

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