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Weekly schedule, past shows

Tom Toles
Posted at 07:15 AM ET, 08/01/2013

Whereabouts unknown

I spend summers moving around, but I’m vague about where I am at any given time. This did not used to be a problem, or even a thing at all. You were where you were and the people who laid eyes on you knew where you were and those who didn’t never expected to know.

Now here I am blogging in real time, whatever that is, but from where? From here. Facebook wants the details, as do corporate trackers and NSA monitors. Maybe you’d like to know and maybe you wouldn’t. The pop-up ad wants to know if I would like to buy an impulse gardening tool from THIS STORE right here, or from THIS OTHER STORE hundreds of miles away. Can’t be both, so they NEED TO KNOW. Advertising dollars are at stake.

Okay, here’s a hint. Two of the places I’ve been are Buffalo, NY and Washington DC. Why THOSE places?? You hate Washington because you think it’s full of people who you down at you. You hate Buffalo because you look down at it. You parse that one. I love Buffalo because I’m from there, and it’s actually pretty lovable. I work in Washington because I do political cartoons and they have some politics in Washington. But it’s not important which day I’m where. If I were to post photos, they would be of gardens, with relevant geographic background details omitted, so that wouldn’t help you. I’ll describe them for you. See: a little green nook in this one. An embowered pathway in this other one. They could be anywhere! Bower to the beople!

Gardening is the best activity, except for music, which is also the best activity. The way to combine the two is to be Pan, frolicking, with Pan pipes. That’s what I’m doing this summer, wherever it is I am.

By  |  07:15 AM ET, 08/01/2013

 
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