More than 52 million votes were cast this week after Wednesday’s “American Idol” performance night, raves show host Ryan Seacrest at the start of Thursday night’s results show. Sure, it’s fewer votes than last week, but you get his point. Adding online voting works!
Judge Randy Jackson is dressed for the occasion in an American flag T-shirt that’s missing some stars – apparently he got bad reviews in Alaska and Hawaii.
Steven Tyler’s outfit is very subdued, as befits a judge who’d been uninvited to the American Idol Decency Policeman’s Ball after using naughty Aerosmith language Wednesday night to enthuse over one of the Idolettes’ performances.
Judge Jennifer Lopez felt inspired to don her thigh-high cougar boots the night after getting kissed by Guydolette Casey Abrams.
What does Randy Jackson think is going to happen tonight? “I don’t know, I’m so confused all I can do is suck air between my teeth,” Randy tells Seacrest – or, words and noises to that effect.
(Photo gallery: “American Idol” photo gallery)
“I’m hoping it’s not a girl,” Jennifer Lopez faux-pouts, in re who will get the hook tonight. On the bright side, Mr. Jennifer Lopez, thought it was a “cute moment” when Casey Abrams kissed her on the cheek Wednesday night.
The guy who’s stuck with his finger on the bleep button, his job on the line, and Steven Tyler’s mouth on a short fuse every week is named Trey. Use your power wisely, Trey!
Because this was Songs from This Century Week on “American Idol,” Haley Reinhart, Lauren Alaina, Jacob Lusk and Stefano Langone will kick off tonight’s activities performing this century’s dopiest hit, “Hey Soul Sister.”
It’s badly rehearsed. Why? Because the Idolettes had to go all the way to the salt flats this week to shoot the Ford Music Video, silly!
The remaining Idolettes – James Durbin, Casey Abrams, and Scotty McCreery, do a trio to Coldplay’s “Viva la Vida,” which is most notable for a bit of blown choreography in which they attempt a three-way brotherhood fist-touch.
Time is definitely weighing heavy on Idol producers’ hands tonight: Jacob gets a chance to respond to being called a diva by the other Idolettes in Wednesday night’s taped bit, but he doesn’t have much to say. Scotty discusses a new cupcake named after him in his hometown. Casey shows us a collage painted by a fan that features a bass, Casey’s face, and his pet dog. Ryan tries to joke that the dog is Randy – you know, because, in seasons past, Randy called everybody “dawg” -- except he’s not doing that this season. We’ve had more fun eavesdropping on people in our doctor’s waiting room.
Seacrest tells Jacob and Casey to stand up. That’s not good news for Jacob. Sure enough, Jacob is sent to the Toadstools of Torment.
Next: Season 7 Winner David Cook singing his new hit, “This Boredom is Killin’ Me”. Huh? Oh, no, he’s singing his single “The Last Goodbye” from “The Loud Morning” -- or, as Ryan calls it, “his sophomore album.” Hey, call us when you graduate, Cook.
Anyway Cook is a reminder of how safe-rockers have dominated “Idol” winning the past several seasons. That’s a good sign for James – though, in James’s defense, he’s a more interesting singer, and a livelier performer, than Cook.
After his number, we’re treated to Cook making his mom get up from her set in the audience and go hug Tyler. This is shaping up as the season’s most wearying results night ever.
Cook tells Seacrest he’ll be in Washington, DC, soon to participate in the Race for Hope, which raises money for brain cancer research. And, tickets are still available for his April 29 concert at the Warner Theatre, Cook adds.
Time continues to weigh heavy on “Idol” producers’ hands: We watch the Idolettes attending a Dodgers game. Then we watch the Idolettes go bowling. Then we see Scotty get a manicure. My gosh, with all this time to burn, they could have brought back the Idolettes to chorus “Sk8ter Boi”, “Your Body Is a Wonderland” or any number of other hits from the 21st century.
Seacrest, sensing our desperation, calls Lauren, James and Stefano to the center of the stage. He asks Randy if Stefano did well enough this week to avoid being sent to the Toadstools of Torture. Randy senses a trick question; “I hope so” he guesses.
Nope! Stefano is sent to the ToT. Lauren and James are safe.
Next, Haley Reinhart and Scotty McCreery are brought to the center of the stage. Does anyone not know how this turns out?
We have our Bottom 3: Jacob, Stefano, and Haley.
Seacrest immediately calls Haley back to center stage and whispers in her ear, “You’re safe.”
It’s down to Jacob and Stefano, as predicted by the scholars who participate in the weekly WaPo TeamTV American Idol Poll – congratulations! It also means that, for the second week in a row, a Guydolette is going home, not one of the chicks, driving another stake into that American Idol Chromosomal Curse theory that had been getting so much play in the press.
But, before we find out whether Stefano is leaving or Jacob: taped Katie Perry!
That bouncy girl-vixen thing must not be working for Katy Perry these days. These days, she’s Lady Gaga Lite. Or, rather Lady Gaga Light – she’s dressed in an over-the-top electrified costume, surrounded by extras dressed in white suits, last seen in “Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex” with Woody Allen, playing sperm. Nice to see those guys working again! Kanye West, in an unbilled appearance, joins Perry among the sperm to help her hit, “ET.”
But Katie and the Sperm, featuring Kanye, are just postponing the inevitable. One of the Idolettes has gotta go.
And, after so many trips to the bottom three, Stefano can no longer cheat fate. James Durbin tears up – we think they were roommates at Palazzo Foreclozzo. Stefano goes out with a big smile, singing “Lately,” the Stevie Wonder tune from 1980’s, which is a much better century for Stefano.