“Dancing with the Stars” Classic Week continues to be a week of firsts.
Chelsea Kane, for instance, lands in the Endangered List for the first time, on Tuesday, after getting spanked by judge Len Goodman for their out-there waltz moves.
It’s also the first time this season the couple with the most points from the judges winds up in the Bottom Three.
Meanwhile, Hines Ward and Ralph Macchio are declared safe.
Even so, senior judge Len Goodman asks Chelsea and Mark to dance that waltz gain – maybe so viewers can see what landed them in this pickle.
Next week is Patriot Week, so Len gets to do another of his taped gags – this time dressed up like George C. Scott playing World War II Gen. George Patton, and rally the celebrities.
This week’s musical guest, Jennifer Hudson, sings “Don’t Look Now” from her new album. Poise Points to Jennifer for smiling through the falling confetti that sticks to her face.
Next it’s time to send to the Celebriquarium the three couples who finished Monday in the middle of the pack, points-wise.
Celebriquarium hostess Brooke Burke asks Romeo what he will do next week if he survives tonight’s elimination. Romeo says that since he went to college, he will do his research, and, because he’s also an actor, will prepare for a patriotic role just like he’s Will Smith getting ready for a role. Brooke has no idea what he’s talking about, but wishes him good luck, and moves on to supermodel Petra Nemcova.
Brooke wonders, what with next week being “American Week,” how Petra, who’s Czech, and her partner, Dmitry Chaplin, who’s Russian, think they’re going to pull off an “all-American quick step.”
Dmitry, according to his “Dancing” bio, has represented the United States at ballroom competitions around the world -- but apparently that’s not American enough for Brooke Burke!
Petra, resisting the urge to bash Brooke over the head with the heel of her shoe, explains she will rely on the kindness of the non-xenophobic American voters who have gotten her this far.
Brooke asks Chris Jericho if he now wishes his scores from the judges had been better this week. The WWE performer resists the urge to body slam Brooke and answers philosophically, that yes, he wishes his scores were better, “but I wish the economy was better as well.”
Chris is safe; Romeo too; Petra is in jeopardy – she may not have to worry about having no American birth certificate after all!
Into the Celebriquarium with Brooke are sent Monday’s three lowest point getters, Kirstie Alley, Sugar Ray Leonard, and Kendra Wilkinson; Kendra had received the fewest votes from the judges this week, for her “I don’t do no stinkin elegant Waltz” performance.
Brooke wonders if Kirstie wonders why her shoe came off the week after she fell on the dance floor. Brooke also wonders if Sugar Ray thought he did a good job this week. Yes, and yes.
Brooke additionally questions why Kendra “seemed a little off” on Monday. And, by “seemed a little off” Brooke means “behaved like a petulant brat with a chip on her shoulder” – like when judges Carrie Ann Inaba suggested Kendra was afraid to be elegant while doing the waltz, and Kendra snapped back, “I just don’t care.”
“Hormones took over yesterday,” Kendra says in response to Brooke’s wondering.
Yes, in another “Dancing” first, a celebrity is blaming PMS for her lousy routine.
“It’s one of those womanly things that happened yesterday. and it just so happened to be last night, so, yeah,” Kendra says dourly.
From sniffing her armpit to sticking her finger down her throat, to discussing her menstrual cycle, Kendra dares to tackle the big issues of our day. We think the “DWTS” producers should nominate Kendra for a Peabody Award or an Emmy.
In the plus column, Kendra’s answer has the effect of shocking Brooke out of her cyborg stage personality.
“Gosh, I appreciate your honesty! I mean, a woman who just admits that!” Brooke enthuses.
The camera cuts over to Bergeron, the best reality TV series host ever.
“Keeping their choreography fresh and exciting is a difficult challenge for our pros -- especially during hormone time!” he says.
It’s time for dancers from the San Francisco ballet, the Boston Ballet and the American Ballet Theater to perform “Swan Lake.” We know it’s not the classic version, because we saw the movie and nobody ends up bleeding in this one. Anyway, thanks to “DWTS” for even putting ballet on the TV screen, even if this one seemed a bit constrained by the size of the dance floor and the allotted time.
Jennifer Hudson returns to sing “Feeling Good” while two couples from the “DWTS” Corps de Baby Dancers mingle energetically. They’re certainly strong!
We’re treated to a backstage moment from Monday night when Kendra’s dance partner Louis Van Amstel chastises her for her comment to Carrie Ann about not caring to try to be elegant doing the waltz. “I must say I was quite disappointed with your comments, because I know you care,” he said severly.
This happened on Monday, which makes tonight’s Kendra “hormone” story look like a riposte.
Tom and Brooke announce that Kirstie is safe. Then they announce that Kendra is safe, and nobody’s more shocked than Louis because he knows she deserved to be voted out, based on attitude problems alone.
That leaves Sugar Ray joining Chelsea and Petra in the Bottom 3.
The three celebrities and their partners are trotted out on stage. Petra is declared safe. And the celebrity who got the fewest votes this week is:
Sugar Ray Leonard.