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Posted at 06:00 AM ET, 10/09/2012

‘Dancing With the Stars’: Dances from the past, and Bristol’s ‘tear-filled blow-up’

Promising two “bombshell” announcements on performance night, Tom Bergeron declares that next Monday, “Dancing With the Stars” will be “joined by a special guest judge who knows more than a little something about judging top-rated competitions.”

Naturally, that’s...Paula Abdul! Also known as one of the original “American Idol” judges. Will she weigh in on all the drama going on this season? Let’s hope so.

“Dance has always been my first love,” Paula exclaims in a taped package, and says she’s been “sneaking” into the show for years. Miraculously, the cameras seem to have caught her every time she stopped by — we see an extended montage of Paula In the Audience.

And the second big announcement? Next week, the all-stars must pick the dance styles for each other.

Obviously, we’re more excited about Paula.

But back to the dancers, who have two challenges this week. First, they must perform an “iconic” dance from a past season. And then, the stars take control by being the “creative directors” of each performance.

Oh, and Tom Bergeron plugs a drama-filled incident later, something about Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas having a fight during rehearsal. Stay tuned...

Singer Drew Lachey and Anna Trebynskaya

Dance: Joey McIntyre cha cha from Season 1

Drew Lachey is really making his dance a tribute to fellow boy bands — not only is he paying homage to a Joey McIntyre routine from Season 1, but his goal is bring sexy back. “Cute?” he sneers at Anna, when she uses that offending word while describing a dance move. Drew wants sexiness and sensuality. “I have two babies — they weren’t delivered by he stork!” he reminds us. He ups the classy factor by telling Anna to “unleash your inner stripper” for the dance.

Drew is dressed in a Bieber-esque vest, but manages to hit the moves of the cha cha. The judges love it, and praise the technique — Carrie Ann is especially impressed that he managed to bring out “sexy Anna.”

Scores: 8, 8, 8 for a total of 24 points.

Actor Gilles Marini and Peta Murgatroyd

Dance: Erin Andrews tango from Season 10

Gilles is not pleased about this week’s assignment, saying you don’t re-paint a Picasso. But really, what’s he’s saying is that he’s annoyed Apolo has chosen to do his former dance from 2009. Basically, he’s calling himself Picasso. Gilles sniffs that “out of respect,” he won’t choose a dance that was done by someone who’s currently in the cast. Instead, he goes with an Erin Andrews tango from Season 10.

Gilles starts the dance strapped to a harness up in the air, because he takes his role as creative director very seriously. He floats through the air for awhile, and is carefully placed back on the ground in front of Peta, dressed in a black cape and playing the part of someone who just woke Gilles up from a dream.

Bruno is a huge fan of the “dominant, erotic” dance, calling it “50 Shades of Gilles.” However, he notes, Gilles lost his footing a bit. Carrie Ann proclaims it “amazing,” and even Len can’t nitpick about footing too much.

Scores: 8.5, 8.5, 8.5 for a total of 25.5 points.

Reality star Melissa Rycroft and Tony Dovolani

Dance: J.R. Martinez samba from Season 13

Melissa and Tony mull over how to impress the audience, and everything seems happy and low-key — cut to the duo practicing all kinds of complicated tricks, most of which end in Melissa’s head hitting the wooden floor.

There aren’t any visible injuries during the dance, as she and Tony shake their way through the samba. Carrie Ann is a huge fan of the salsa drops that didn’t end in disaster. “That’s what I’m talking about!” yells Len, comparing the “fizzy” dance to Coca Cola. Bruno is amazed by the complex choreography.

Scores: 9, 9, 9 for a total of 27 points.

Olympic speed skater Apolo Anton Ohno and Karina Smirnoff

Dance: Gilles Marini fox trot from Season 3

It’s time for the dance that has Gilles so annoyed, which is Apolo’s version of his fox trot from Season 3. Karina stresses that the dance has to be memorable, and Apolo is determined to show off his sexiness — without taking his shirt off.

Apolo decides that Karina will be a statue who comes to life in the dance. Naturally, this involves several living statues placed around the stage, which slowly start to move, and are terrifying. Still, the statues don’t upstage Apolo, who does his best to channel Gilles.

Len calls the dance terrific, and Bruno goes with “sensual and classy,” along with “exquisite.” “That’s going to be one of those memorable dances we’re never going to forget,” gushes Carrie Ann, which surely has Gilles seething.

Scores: 9, 8, 8.5 for a total of 25.5. We get one last look at the living statues, and Tom Bergeron cracks, “For once I don’t feel like the whitest person in the room.” It doesn’t even get a smile out of the statues. They’re good!

Actress Kelly Monaco and Val Chmerkovskiy

Dance: Laila Ali paso doble from Season 4

Kelly decides to pit brother against brother, and chooses a dance that Maks performed with Laila Ali in the fourth season. The duo meets with the set designer, who tells them that some couples are using live animals. “Good for them,” says Kelly, haughtily. “It’s good for everybody else that are filling their routine with fluff...but we’re going to dance.”

True to her word, there are no live animals, just a giant red tent that is above Kelly and Val at the beginning of the performance. They get all the moves and it looks great, but certainly could have livened things up with some live animals — oh, the missed opportunity.

Carrie Ann is out of breath just watching, and says something that seemingly gets bleeped by the “DWTS” censors. The other judges are blown away by the performance. In the Celebriquarium, Brooke Burke Charvet marvels again at Kelly’s ability to multitask most weeks with her “General Hospital” gig in the morning, and “DWTS” at night. Scores: 9, 9, 9 for a total of 27 points.

Actress Kirstie Alley and Maksim Chmerkovskiy

Dance: Carson Kressley cha cha from Season

Kirstie has many thoughts on her costume for the cha cha, and even more about what Maks will be wearing. Specifically, very tight, very low cut pants. “What about Standards and Practices?” Maks asks doubtfully. “Your junk is not going to be out. That’s not what this show is about,” Kirstie assures him, but Maks still looks like he doesn’t believe her.

Maks arrives on the dance floor in a tiny red sports car, and Kirstie plays a fangirl who can’t help but being so dazzled that she runs out and dances with him immediately.

“That was the most fun I’ve had all night,” says Carrie Ann. Len decides that he loved the dance so much, he wants the celebrities to be in charge of the dances every week.

Scores: 8, 8, 8 for a total of 24 points.

Singer Sabrina Bryan and Louis Vam Amstel

Dance: Mel B. paso doble from Season 5

Back in Season 5, Mel B. and Maks performed this dance the week after Sabrina was sent home in a shocking elimination, and they dedicated the dance to her. Now, Sabrina is determined to stay at the top — last week, she had the highest score. But she’s still terrified she’ll be eliminated.

It’s a high energy dance, and the judges love it — well, except for Carrie Ann, who doesn’t think Sabrina brought anything exciting to the dance. “In this competition, you need to bring the element of surprise,” Carrie Ann complains, daring to disagree with Len and Bruno.

Scores: 8.5, 8.5, 8.5 for a total of 25.5 points.

Former NFL player Emmitt Smith and Cheryl Burke

Dance: Mario Lopez paso doble from Season 3

Emmitt is in his element as role of creative director, especially when he realizes that since Len is looking for something he’s never seen before. He decides he needs to charge at Cheryl and fly under her legs in a complicated move, nearly knocking her over every time. It also means that there dance will have a live animal element, as there’s a donkey hanging out on stage — though he is absent from the live dance, apparently not behaving in front of the live crowd.

But Emmitt doesn’t take down Cheryl with the slide move, which causes wild cheers from the audience. “I thought you were going to kill her!” shrieks Bruno. Carrie Ann says it upped the ante, and Len says Emmitt dominated the floor.

Scores: 8.5, 8, 8.5 for a total of 25 points.

Racecar driver Helio Castroneves and Chelsie Hightower

Dance: Apolo quickstep from Season 4

Helio loves being in charge, taking control of the wardrobe decisions. He also chooses a former performance from Apolo, who stops by during rehearsal to psyche out the duo and remind them how much tougher the competition is during all-star season.

They whirl around on e dance floor, without any live animals or living statues to spice things up. The judges loved it, even though Helio got tripped up over Chelsie’s dress during one move — still, the judges say, he recovered nicely, and deserves to be back next week.

Scores: 8.5, 8.5, 8.5 for a total of 25.5 points.

Reality star Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas

Dance: Joanna Krupa paso doble from Season 9

Earlier, Tom Bergeron warned us that Bristol and Mark had a major blow-up in training this week — now, we see all the drama. Bristol is visibly upset in rehearsal, still shaken after the judges openly disliked her “rule-breaking” performance last week. Mark tries to lift her spirits by saying that they weren’t the only couple who broke hold, just the only ones who got called out for it, but Bristol isn’t having it.

“I know you’re bummed that you don’t have Sabrina or Shawn,” she snaps at him, referring to her higher-scoring castmates.

“I’ve been on the show 11 seasons now, and I don’t always get a Shawn or a Sabrina,” Mark argues.

Bristol is also angry for not showing up for rehearsal at one point. Mark acknowledges that was his fault. “I feel like you want to go home,” Bristol says, refusing to look at him, and starting to cry. Eventually, she gets up and leaves the room. “B, can you not be like this, please?” Marks pleads as she walks out the door. He turns to the camera. “What the (bleep) am I supposed to do now?”

Cue an extremely awkward cut to Bristol and Mark in the ballroom, dressed in full costume, sheepishly waving to the camera and trying to look psyched to be there. They launch into an angry-looking paso doble.

Len thinks this was Bristol’s best dance yet, and Bruno likes that she used up all her aggression. “I know when you came into this competition, people kind of put you at the bottom of the pack, but I think you’re proving yourself a worthy competitior,” Carrie Ann says, paying her the ultimate backhanded compliment.

Scores: 7.5, 7.5, 7.5 for a total of 22 points.

Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson and Derek Hough

Dance: Helio Castroneves quickstep from Season 5

Shawn really wants to break all the rules, and truly show off something that he judges have never seen. That means one thing — trampolines. And also injuries, as Shawn is seen hitting Derek in the face accidentally during rehearsal.

Sure enough, they break out the trampolines for the dance, along with lots of flips. They end the dance by leaping off the stairs and disappearing from view, presumably on to a soft landing.

“Incredible, spectacular, unforgettable,” says Bruno, declaring it one of the best dances he’s seen in 15 seasons. “That was by far the best dance we have ever seen on ‘Dancing With the Stars,’” Carrie Ann announces. Len thinks it was fantastic, but says he’s going to have to drop a point because they dropped hold — and since they did the same to Bristol last week, they have to be fair.

Scores: 9, 8, 9.5 for a total of 26.5 points.

Tuesday: Double elimination.

By  |  06:00 AM ET, 10/09/2012

 
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