Never mind the rest of the show: Tuesday morning, the press is abuzz with Nancy Grace’s wardrobe malfunction, which happened when she finished her quickstep in a lowcut dress and went over to listen to the judges commentary, briefly exposing one of her maracas.
“On the European version, that would be perfectly fine,” Tom Bergeron assured Grace, after the cameras quickly cut away.
It happened so fleetingly that 90 percent of viewers likely missed what occurred. So, note to producers: While it’s a hilarious comment on Bergeron’s part, it’s also a big fat red flag for that subsect of TV viewers who watch with their finger on the remote to catch fleeting wardrobe malfunctions and gin up an Internet fracas.
However, Grace steadfastly denied the wardrobe malfunction on Tuesday afternoon, when asked by tabloid Web site TMZ. “I have been judged guilty without a trial ... I will go to my grave denying the nip slip,” Grace said.
When she got dressed, she was modestly wearing Petals — an adhesive nipple cover favored by Hollywood starlets — during her live performance Monday night, the HLN star insisted.
No word yet from the “DWTS” producers.
If you must, there’s video of the incident here.
Right before “Dancing With the Stars” kicks off its second performance night, Tom Bergeron reminds us that last week, America voted against World Peace. And may we say...well done, America!
Of course, Bergeron’s talking about Metta World Peace, known as LA Lakers star Ron Artest’s new moniker. But Artest/MWP is out of the game, so it’s time to focus less on his ridiculous name and more on the remaining 11 contestants.
U.S. women’s soccer team’s Hope Solo and Maks Chmerkovskiy
Dance: Jive to Avril Lavigne’s “Girlfriend”
Hope tells us that it’s very difficult going from soccer practice in the morning to dance rehearsals in the afternoon. She shows this while practicing with Maks, somehow combining jive steps and soccer drills in a way that make her look like a deranged cartoon character trying to dance.
In case anyone missed the memo that Hope’s a soccer player, she and Maks start off the routine with a soccer ball — it appears Maks is another player trying to get in Hope’s way, so she cheerfully throws him to the ground. The storyline of this dance is very confusing, and they aren’t very coordinated while wiggling and kicking around, but the camera makes sure to zoom in extra close on Hope’s spandex pants. Hope ends the routine by planting a kiss on the top of Len’s head.
Len isn’t impressed, and says she didn’t have very good timing with her kicks. “I was trying to kick a soccer ball,” Hope explains, disappointed that her kiss didn’t do the trick. Bruno also expresses disappointment, but Carrie Ann notes the pair looks amazing. And isn’t that what it’s all about? In the Celebriquarium, Brooke Burke Charvet tries to get Maks to say that Hope’s busy soccer schedule is hurting their dance practice, but he doesn’t take the bait. Scores: 6, 7, 6 for a total of 19 points.
Reality star Kristin Cavallari and Mark Ballas
Dance: Quickstep to “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend”
Mark tries to teach Kristin how to work on refinement and elegance. We’re guessing he’s never seen “The Hills” or “Laguna Beach.” Still, their theme is Hollywood glamour, so Kristin goes for a Marilyn Monroe look, complete with the white dress. Kristin keeps a comically giant smile pasted on her face the entire time (looking oddly like Katherine Heigl), barely letting go of Mark on the dance floor. He ends the routine by doing a front handspring and falling on the floor.
“I’ve been bedazzled by the blonde bombshell!” Bruno roars when she’s done. So he’s a fan. Carrie Ann thinks it was stunning, and Len says they look a lot better than they danced (zing!) but it was still an improvement over last week. Scores: 8, 7, 7 for a total of 22 points.
Actor David Arquette and Kym Johnson
Dance: Jive to Bruno Mars’s “Runaway Baby”
David Arquette compares himself to the jive: silly, but also complicated. That’s deep. He gets frustrated in rehearsal, and Kym bluntly tells him that his practice dance was terrible. David appears hurt by this. During the actual dance, it’s hard to concentrate on anything other than the pair’s matching gold outfits -- David in some sort of pleather with suspenders and a fedora, and Kim in a signature “DWTS” super sparkly dress. David looks completely spastic, and does a sliding move that looks like he just fell over.
David’s ex, Courteney Cox, and his daughter Coco are back in the ground — and for the trademark adorable Coco moment, she catches her dad’s jacketwhen he throws it into the crowd. Anyway, Len is speechless because the dance looked nothing like the jive...though David was full of enthusiasm, so that’s one piece of good news. Bruno is kinder, and says David is starting to find his persona. That’s code for “that dance was terrible.”
David tells Brooke in the Celebriquarium that they had fun, and Brooke asks him how it felt to be totally emasculated by Kym during rehearsal (in so many words.) Scores: 6, 6, 6 for a total of 18 points.
Actress Elisabetta Canalis and Val Chmerkovskiy
Dance: Quickstep to Lily Allen’s “Don’t Get Me Wrong”
Reportedly, Elisabetta Canalis was upset that “DWTS” identified her as a former fling of George Clooney, and not by any other one of her credits. (Still, wouldn’t you want to be identified by George Clooney’s ex, rather than, say, having a bit part in “Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo?” The former looks much more impressive on a resume.)
Anyway, Elisabetta is bringing the drama in rehearsal after scoring the second-lowest last week. Language barrier might be an issue, but the two keep snapping at each other anyway. Elisabetta stalks off when Val tells her she’s not being enthusiastic, and has an attitude problem. Elisabetta gets bleeped. This is a match made in heaven.
Val starts off the routine reading an Italian dictionary to show that their communication problems were just a hilarious joke. Elisabetta jumps around in a glittery blue potato sack-esque dress with puffy sleeves, making almost zero impression and struggling to have a facial expression that isn’t “annoyed.” The judges can’t even get worked up enough to give her any real criticism, which is never a good sign. It’s better to be especially terrible than boring. Scores: 7, 7, 7 for a total of 21 points.
Reality star Rob Kardashian and Cheryl Burke
Dance: Jive to the Beach Boys’s “Surfin’ U.S.A.”
Rob is insecure about his weight and “manboobs,” or so he tells us. He seeks comfort from Cheryl, who theorizes that Rob is especially scared because it’s his first time seeking attention from ways other than his family’s reality show.
Rob and Cheryl tackle a surfing theme, as Rob hops on a surfboard and skips around wearing a Hawaiian print shirt., and even seems to genuinely have fun. Bruno thinks Rob is blossoming and starting to find his own voice. Carrie Ann announces that Rob is officially a better dancer than his sister, Kim. (True — she was voted out very early during her season.) Scores: 7, 7, 7 for a total of 21 points.
Style expert Carson Kressley and Anna Trebunskaya
Dance: Quickstep to Helen Shapiro’s “Walkin’ Back to Happiness”
Last week, Carson danced around like an excitable chicken and had virtually no technique, though the judges thought he was very entertaining. He has higher hopes for the quickstep, at least until he realizes that it requires footwork. He tells a sob story about always failing gym class as a kid because of his lack of coordination, and Anna looks properly sympathetic while trying not to laugh.
Carson shows off his fashion prowess by donning glasses and a bowtie, desperately trying to keep up with Anna, but still very uncoordinated and flailing around. Len gives quite the backhanded compliment by telling Carson that the worst dances on the show are the most fun to watch. Or as Bruno says, the dance was like “Pee Wee Herman Goes to the Prom,” and he danced like he was dancing on banana skins about to fall over any minute.
Brooke asks Carson how it feels to try so hard but fail so terribly. Carson insists he loves to entertain. Scores: 6, 6, 6 for a total of 18 points.
Talk show host Ricki Lake and Derek Hough
Dance: Jive to OutKast’s “Hey Ya!”
Ricki struggles through rehearsal with Derek, reminding us that she’s no longer in her early 20s, and can’t keep up with Derek. During the routine, Ricki relies on Derek to swing her around while she’s dressed in pink fringe and during the songs lyrics to “shake it like a Polaroid picture,” she does just that.
They get a huge standing ovation, and Len looks confused about all the fuss. “It disturbed me a little,” he confessed, probably referring to the pair shaking all over each other. Or all the pink fringe. Bruno, however, says Ricki is the first person to do the kicks correctly. Carrie Ann calls it the best jive of the night so far.
Ricki tells Brooke she’s lost 12 inches already, which is good because it’s the main reason she came on the show. Scores: 8, 7, 8 for a total of 23 points.
Activist Chaz Bono and Lacey Schwimmer
Dance: Quickstep to “Love is All Around”
Chaz is in lots of pain, and tells Lacey that his knees (both wrapped in braces) feel old and creaky. Ultimately, they have to tone down the dance, since Chaz is afraid his knees will give out.
Sure enough, the dance is very basic, like a very slow ballroom dance with some skipping and jumping, though Chaz does a few kicks toward the end. Mostly, Lacey does all the fancy footwork. Carrie Ann thinks Chaz handles his injuries well, but since the quickstep is supposed to be, you know, quick, that’s not exactly great news for his score. The judges are very kind about his ailments. Scores: 6, 5, 6 for a total of 17 points.
Singer Chynna Phillips and Tony Dovolani
Dance: Jive to Alesha Dixon’s “The Boy Does Nothing”
After lots of bleeps in rehearsal (”Sorry, Jesus, I have to curse!” Chynna yells) and confusion over which foot is right and which is left, Chynna and Tony hit the floor. Maybe it’s just in comparison to Chaz Bono, but they seem leaps and bounds above everyone else in the competition — they both appear to have rhythm and are in sync.
The judges seem disappointed that they played it safe, after they were the high scorers last week. As Len puts it, it was a “polite Jive.” Or in Bruno translation, it didn’t have enough “va va voom.” Scores: 7, 7, 7 for a total of 21 points.
Commentator Nancy Grace and Tristan Macmanus
Dance: Quickstep to Duke Ellington’s “It Don’t Mean a Thing (If It Ain’t Got That Swing)”
Nancy Grace tells us that she feels comfortable in a courtroom, but dance floor? Not so much. Good thing she signed up for a dancing show. She shuts down during rehearsal and refuses to look at Tristan, who immediately gives up and wraps rehearsal early. Later, it appears all is forgiven, as Nancy breaks down and apologizes, looking like she’s trying really hard to cry but not quite getting there.
Nancy tries desperately to keep up with Tristan on the floor, but ends up just jumping around without looking particularly coordinated. Still, Len calls it refreshing, even though it didn’t have any flash or, in technical terms, “razzamatazz.” Carrie Ann agrees that she saw improvement, and that they make an incredible team, even though they have such a different in height and body shape on the dance floor. Scores: 6, 8, 7 for a total of 21 points.
Actor J.R. Martinez and Karina Smirnoff
Dance: Jive to Louis Prima’s “Jump Jive an’ Wail”
Tied for first last week, J.R. is thrilled — but he acknowledges that he’s the least well-known of all the contestants, so without a built-in fanbase, he has to work harder than anyone. Karina makes J.R. work for it, creating especially challenging choreography that involves lots of flips and dangerous lifts.
Wearing matching suspenders and hats, J.R. indeed flips Karina around and takes a flying leap off the stairs. The two stay in step throughout the whole thing, and even throw off the suspenders at one point. “You’re born to dance!” Bruno tells J.R., adding it was the most satisfying performance of the night. Carrie Ann is disappointed it included a lift (apparently, that’s supposed to be included in a tango), but loved it. Len isn’t quite as enthusiastic, and starts to explain why, but Bergeron reminds him that “Castle” is about to start, so he better wrap up his comments. Scores: 7, 7, 8 for a total of 22 points.GALLERY: Click the image above to view more photos from 'Dancing with the Stars' season 13 premiere week.