One day after Nancy Grace sacrificed a perfectly good news cycle full of hootin’ and hollerin’ about the Conrad Murray guilty verdict so she could practice for “Dancing With the Stars,” she was rewarded for her efforts by being officially eliminated from the competition, one week shy of the semi-finals.
Though to be fair, the HLN anchor had quite the subpar performance on Monday night, which prompted judge Len Goodman to tell her that she was the Cinderella story — but it was time for her to go home. And that she did.
No mention of anything unpleasant when Nancy was given the bad news at the end of Tuesday’s show; a calm and collected Nancy reflected on her time on the show. “I am so proud, but I really cannot take the credit,” she told co-hosts Tom Bergeron and Brooke Burke Charvet of her eight-week run on the competition. “It’s been all Tristan, from the get-go,” she added, referencing her patience-of-a-saint pro dance partner, Tristan Macmanus.
Even though she missed the story on her HLN network, after the performance show Monday, Nancy prattled on happily to anyone who would listen about her opinions on the Murray verdict, in which the doctor was found guilty of involuntary manslaughter in the death of pop star Michael Jackson. She said that the prosecutors should have charged Murray with Murder One. “God’s gonna get him. ... He can run, but he can’t hide,” Nancy told reporters backstage.
But like any good “DWTS” results night, the show doesn’t let just one storyline dominate the show. After kicking the night off with a glittery dance to “I Am Woman” by the show’s female dancers, the producers go right into flashback mode to show how the remaining five couples did on Monday night, and who would make it one step closer to next week’s semi-finals.
To recap: Rob Kardashian and Cheryl had a full Kardashian cheering squad and impressed the judges. Hope Solo and Maks worked on Maks’s image problem and actually managed to have fun for once. J.R. Martinez and Karina got two perfect scores.
So, to begin the results — the first couple in the semi-finals is ... not-shockingly, J.R. and Karina!
Hope and Maks are safe!
Rob and Cheryl are in jeopardy.
There’s an hour to go, so it’s time for a “DanceCenter” segment, the “SportsCenter” parody hosted by former “DWTS” contestants Kenny Mayne of ESPN and football star Jerry Rice, along with Len Goodman. They analyze the contestants — for example, the fact that Ricki Lake is nearly old enough to be partner Derek’s mom, and that Derek is a lot like pro dancer Mark Ballas, except blond and not nearly as creepy. This proves not to be true when they show a disturbing segment of out-of-context sexual innuendos between Ricki and Derek.
The trio can’t really make fun of J.R., the war hero, but they do mock his love of musical theater through a “don’t ask, don’t tell” joke.
Rob Kardashian — this one is too easy. They note he lasted longer on the show than sister Kim Kardashian’s marriage (again, way too easy) and that his only occupation is being a Kardashian family member.
Moving on from “DanceCenter.” Brooke says that the next two performers are Italian crooner Andrea Bocelli and and rapper Flo Rida, and as Tom Bergeron correctly notes, that is not a sentence you get to say too often in life. To compare: Bocelli = an understated ballad with the male dancers in top hats and canes and the female dancers in princess dresses. Flo Rida = dance anthem with laser lights and smoke machines.
And we’re back to “DanceCenter.” Kenny, Jerry and Len analyze Nancy Grace and call her a long shot. They mock her cheerleading skills, and then Jerry pretends to hit on her. They move on to Hope Solo, make a few Hans Solo jokes, and note that she has better abs than Maks. Of course, they show some (modestly covered) footage of Hope’s nude photo shoot for ESPN the Magazine.
Finally, the trio pokes fun at Maks’s now infamous “This is my show” remark by rolling fake “DWTS” end credits that they imagine Maks must see in his world, which lists him in every role including Owner of the Entire Show.
Speaking of Michael Jackson, what a lucky coincidence that this is the week of a Cirque du Soleil performance of a tribute to Michael Jackson. Wearing sparkly multi-colored sweatsuits that light up when the lights go off, the troupe performs to a medley of MJ songs, including “Smooth Criminal” and “Billie Jean.” Some advice: Save money on the glow-in-the-dark costumes and add some more acrobats doing crazy things in the air. That’s what the people want to see, Cirque du Soleil.
During flashback time to Monday night’s performances, Tristan is seen advising Nancy to be angry, so the judges will be scared of her and give her a score of all nines. This strategy is not full-proof. Then, Derek literally talks Ricki through the dance and looks like he nearly drops her while spinning around on the floor.
Ricki and Derek are safe!
Nancy and Tristan, yet again, are in jeopardy. And we all know how that turns out.
“We’ve seen sides of you that regular viewers of your show might have been surprised to see,” Tom Bergeron adds as the show wraps up, and it’s definitely the understatement of the night.
Last week results: ‘Dancing With the Stars’: David Arquette sent packing
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