The best sentences we read today

December 13, 2013

--- "'I’ll have an everything bagel,' proclaimed the local advertising salesman and wanton pleasure-seeker in a declaration akin to that of the infamous Roman emperor of unbounded licentiousness, demanding that not one or two but seven distinct coatings adorn the baked good for no purpose other than his own trifling amusement."

--- “It can be of anything!' Web editors say, as the December days get shorter and darker, like mustaches during periods of Fascism."

--- "Researchers presented adult chimps with photos of other chimps’ behinds, and were easily able to train them to select the facial image that corresponded with the behind—a sure sign of interpersonal awareness and intelligence."

--- "The Wire's Omar Little once said to Marlo Stanfield, 'Man, money ain't got no owners, only spenders.' Bitcoin seems to have the opposite problem."

Lydia DePillis is a reporter focusing on labor, business, and housing. She previously worked at The New Republic and the Washington City Paper. She's from Seattle.
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