The best sentences we read today

December 19, 2013

--- "It sounds like Youngman is in steps 8 and 9, which is all well and good, but most Washington journalists, whatever their other sins, aren't alcoholics doing things to women they later feel compelled to apologize for."

--- "Feel, in your hands, the warm turds of something that you love unconditionally and that loves you back in the same way."

--- "If you don't know who the troll is, maybe you are living under a bridge and hurling invective at goats in the hope that one of them might fall into your gaping maw, satiating your terrible hunger with the sweet and bountiful pleasure that only rich, filling goat meat can provide."

--- "Need to pee, the last entry reads, like some doomed scribble out of Bram Stoker, but cannot get up."

Lydia DePillis is a reporter focusing on labor, business, and housing. She previously worked at The New Republic and the Washington City Paper. She's from Seattle.
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