"The Only Bank That Serves Zombies is the only bank that serves zombies."
"A super PAC formed by the powerful city teachers' union paid more than $370,000 to an apparently fictitious political consulting firm."
"Why should the Senators still be making laws? / The barbarians, when they come, will legislate."
"Plans to dig up a pet cemetery at the hotel that inspired Stephen King's horror novel 'The Shining' have neighbors feeling aggrieved."
"The restive Texas region, known in the past as a hotbed of separatist activity."
"So hang on tight because you are going to get some clear and true facts without rumor and innuendo, or any accompanying B.S. and mush."
"They were pictures of undersea animals, there was a tiger, some of his favorites."
"But not all writers of peculiarly enthusiastic letters to the editor are fake. I know because I spoke with four of them."
"But after two years of collecting pencil shavings with tweezers for his customers, Rees is nearing his breaking point."
"I think we’d have a better justice system if all witnesses were made to wear a veil."
“Voila! The Citi Bike has become the Escalade SUV in the cannibal culture that arises after peak oil.”
"There is a certain small percentage of the population, I’d say in the 3 percent range, that don’t have good, readable fingerprints for various reasons."
"Scholars in this field of inquiry—breakfast science—have been fudging facts and misinterpreting the science."
"China will never be able to produce quality wine on a global scale."
"Japan’s nuclear power plants have been under attack by jellyfish since the 1960s, with up to 150 tons per day having to be removed from the cooling system of just one power plant."
"Tian Tian, who was born in captivity in China, is a hefty 264 pounds but has been a relatively ineffective breeder with poor natural technique, zoo experts have said."
"In the not too distant future, all human interactions, written or otherwise, might well be conducted in the form of lists."
"He will not only stop trains for kittens, he will personally crawl over the third rail to do it."
"I am not an education policy wonk: I’m just judgmental."
"All of a sudden this thing came to me that I have used — I’d used many times before, that thing about "I have a dream" — and I just felt that I wanted to use it here."