He did not get a second date.
Two researchers at the University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business have done work that “sheds light on how a fundamental consumption behavior (spending and saving decisions) influences the formation of romantic relationships.”
“The desire to attract a romantic partner often stimulates conspicuous consumption, but we find that people who chronically save are more romantically attractive than people who chronically spend,” wrote Jenny G. Olson and Scott Rick in their paper “A Penny Saved is a Partner Earned: The Romantic Appeal of Savers.”
“In the economically uncertain postrecession era, many surveys and studies have shown that being responsible with money — perhaps even to the point that you might be considered cheap — bodes well for your love life,”
writes Brad Tuttle of Time Magazine.
When the authors ran an experiment in which participants had to evaluate dating profiles, savers were deemed the better catches, reports Chris Taylor of Reuters.
They write that that there are several reasons to believe that savers will generally be preferred to spenders in romantic contexts. Savers may be viewed as having greater financial resources while spenders are viewed as more materialistic.
“It is notable that we observed this pattern in the shadow of the Great Recession, a time in which people who chronically spend may be viewed as especially irresponsible,” they say. “Whether savers continue to be preferred in times of economic abundance (when active saving is less necessary for financial survival) is an important open question.”
When the topic “Savers Are Sexy” was posted on Reddit, a social news and entertainment site, the feedback was mixed.
“Financial responsibility gets my engine going, aww yee,” wrote Octopushug. “It helps demonstrate that a person is most likely confident enough in him/herself and their self worth without plastering every sort of name brand and, god forbid, SWAG all over the place. It also suggests the person is most likely relatively mature, is able to plan for the long term, may be generally responsible and considerate in other areas as well, and is able to delay gratification. On the other side, a miser isn’t that great either. Moderation is key.”
Lonelyfriend wrote on Reddit: “Being frugal is not sexy, though. When you go on dates you are always thinking ‘Are you really worth a 60 dollars meal on a Friday night? I could have lunch every day with this budget.’”
The researchers concluded, “savers may win in the dating market, but only when potential mates do not crave excitement.”
That suggest that savers can’t be exciting. You don’t have to spend a lot to have fun. I married a saver and after almost 22 years of marriage, I still find him super sexy and exciting, especially when he’s saving us money.