The spend now generation

Here are two important tips from the moms:

-- Know the difference between a want and a need. (I learned this lesson from my grandmother, Big Mama. It’s one of the best pieces of advice she passed on to me.) Rita Cheng, a financial adviser and mother of three from Potomac, Md., says it can be hard to tell the difference, but that it’s often clear, such as when a young child says she “needs” a cellphone.

-- Stop the urge to buy. Impulse buying is a big trap for children and adults alike, writes Carpenter. One way to stop unnecessary spending is to sleep on it. “It’s amazing how much the impulse to spend goes away if you give it time,” said Eleanor Blayney, president of Directions for Women financial advisory service in McLean, Va.

The Color of Money Question of the Week: “What’s the best money tip you got from your mom or pop? Send your response to colorofmoney@washpost.com. Be sure to include your full name, city and state. Be sure to put “Good Money Moms” in the subject line.

You’re On Your Own, Kid

For last week’s Color of Money question, I asked: “Should parents pay for college if they have the money?”

A Reuters story reported that some parents who are able to pay for their child’s college education have chosen not to because they don’t think their kid will appreciate the help and learn to be independent.

“I feel parents do themselves and their children a huge disservice by paying for entire college expenses,” wrote Pat Host of Washington. “These kids don’t appreciate what their parents are doing for them, so they really don’t care if they graduate. I can’t count on two hands how many people I know who didn’t finish college, wasting tens of thousands of their parents’ money. I had to take out loans to pay for tuition, so I was going to graduate no matter what. While you don’t want to encourage your kids to incur life-crushing debt, a small amount gives them skin in the game and an investment in their own education.”

D. Mayo of Waldorf, Md., thinks parents who can pay but won’t are being selfish. “Pay for your child to go to college if you can,” Mayo wrote. “I have promised my daughter that she will not graduate with debt. I can’t let her start out her life in the real world like that. I’d rather die owing the money.”

Mark Cleland of Clinton Township, Mich., sided with Mayo.

“I think it’s selfish and irresponsible for parents not to help pay for their kid’s college or trade school, etc., assuming they have the wherewithal. In this day and age a high school education gets you nowhere; it’s just the foundation for their next schooling.”

“If parents can afford college, they should make a plan with their child,” said Paula Kocher of Malver, Pa. “We said we would cover four years - no more - and all spending money is to be earned by the child. Our daughter worked all four years and the last two she had a job with free housing and a stipend. If parents cannot pay, it must be discussed well in advance so the child can plan summer jobs and choose a school that will not result in terrible debt. Having the means and turning your back on your kids is just not right.”

Tia Lewis contributed to this report.

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