‘Germy, projectile-barfing poopsacks,’ cont’d

This topic started in a column, jumped to a chat, and now finds its way here: “A recent column about the boyfriend who wasn’t sure if he wanted kids resonated with me. But your answer left me with more questions.

“What are the positives in the math that lead people to decide to have kids? I’m not being funny, I’m seriously asking. I’m trying to figure out what would make having kids worth it, and maybe for me the answer is nothing. I want to see children I raised go out and be a positive force in the world, but I’m not sure that’s enough to balance out the difficult years with small children.”

Here’s the essence of my answer in the chat: “I’m not sure what the answer is, except asking yourself what brings out your best. Because I think that’s really the nut of it--would raising children make the best use of what you bring to the world, or would -not- having kids do that?”

What would you add to (or take away from) this? If there’s something you think people should know before they make their kids-or-no-kids decisions, please share it here--especially if it’s something that’s tough to say out loud.