For the Love of Christmas, Don’t Say Cheese

Ready?: “My husband is a complete man-child. He sneezes in your face on purpose, he chases the kids around with a booger hanging out of his nose, he will not use manners at the table, he’ll chew his food squawking like a bird and pretend to feed the kids “mama-bird style.” When I was a kid one of my favorite things was to talk about serious subjects around the dinner table, but if I try to get a subject started he’ll say something ridiculous to derail the conversation so it’s all fart and burp silliness.

“My biggest concern, other than the loss of my sanity and the fact that I find him unattractive when he behaves this way, is that my kids (9 and 12) are turning into wild, classless, chaos-mongers, at least when he is around. Just now when we were trying to take a Christmas photo he mooned the camera, which turned the whole situation into chaos because they think he’s hilarious and they want to try it too.

“I’m the big, boring, powerless, wet-blanket loser who likes civility. I’ve talked to him about it and he thinks I “can’t take a joke” and need to “lighten up.” And the worst thing is that when he’s not in the mood for it, he will punish the kids severely when they do exactly the things he does. Do I have my kids live by two sets of rules, his and Mine? There’s no changing him or talking him out of it so let’s not even go there.”

Does anyone want to go there anyway? Or somewhere else?

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