Goose = e-Gander?

From a reader, in response to the Oct. 9, 2012 column:

“You wrote, ‘Instead, he hides from you, his intimate partner, while sharing inappropriately with strangers from a safe online distance.’

“Isn’t that what the wife is doing by writing you (since she hasn’t talked to her husband yet), and an inherent element of the advice column business?

“Maybe the man reached out to the support systems with which his generation is familiar. Maybe, like most people (including women), he finds meeting members of an opposite sex in person as more of a slight against a monogamous relationship than online chatting with members of the opposite sex. It’s unrealistic to expect that he’d be able to have those conversations with his men friends. Guesstimating on the quality of relationship advice he’d be likely to find, maybe the wife should be grateful he’s getting a physically distant woman’s perspective about advice, instead of the perspective of Lou the plumber from down the street.

“If you take out that it’s happening online, the actions of the husband are something a lot of women do all the time: They get together and talk about all kinds of intimate details of their marriages, how they feel about their in-laws, what they are thinking/planning about their husbands, how to talk to their husbands about something they haven’t yet raised, and negative perspectives about their husbands or in-laws that don’t represent the whole story. When women do it with their in-person friends, the women in the friend group usually say how terrible the boyfriend/husband is.

“I don’t think it’s good when women do that, but I don’t think it’s any worse when a guy does it online with his women friends. If women want men not to do that kind of stuff, they should engage in mutual disarmament.”

No specific question--just, ready, set, go ...

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