He wants to be engaged. She doesn’t. Yet.

From a reader: “I stumbled upon evidence that my boyfriend is researching engagement rings--how to judge a diamond, different sets, pricing, etc. I was not expecting this at all, and I am definitely not ready to be engaged. We love each other and I can see it as a future possibility, but I know I wouldn’t be ready to say ‘yes’ at this point.

“I’m now terrified he’s going to propose and I’m going to have to say no, hurting his feelings and possibly our relationship. It’s hard to move forward when you both know so concretely that one person is more ‘sure’ than the other. How can I signal to him, for the love of God, NOT to ask any time soon (especially, God forbid, publicly!)?? Every time he plans a dinner date, my heart is in my stomach.”

Ideas?

- Carolyn Hax

 
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