How to dress up an old shoe?

“My husband and I have been together for 40 years. We still enjoy one another’s company, respect each other’s choices, travel together, celebrate our now-independent offspring, and have adjusted to one another’s faults (two freight trains snoring into the new millenium)--but are, in a way, comfortable as old shoes. Any suggestions for a way to shake things up a bit, re-kindle our focus on one another?”

So many times this question is addressed in the context of a failing relationship; their continued affection for each other is almost a new twist. What would you suggest they do, try, consider?

- Carolyn Hax

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