New gift plan: You get squat

The real question may be, is a gift to the child also a gift to the parents? But see what you think: “My family of five adult siblings, four married and with young children, are considering changing our gift-giving tradition. We have always given to each member of the family for Christmas and birthdays.

“My mother suggested that we stop giving gifts to adults. In general I do not have a problem with that — I don’t trade gifts with friends, for example — but I am the single sibling without children. I have to admit I am bothered by the idea that I should spend the stress, time and money to get gifts for nine children and receive nothing. I do not like the message it sends to my nieces and nephews, either.

“I would be fine with setting a low limit on gifts and I am perfectly fine with getting a family or kids’ picture from each sibling, or one of their favorite recipes, or a $5 paperback book. The idea of a lottery with all family members and getting one present has been rejected.

“Am I being unreasonable? Any suggestions for what might be another solution to this?”

All ideas welcome, and the clock is ticking.

— Carolyn Hax

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