Week 1044: Warning — this humor contest contains humor

October 24, 2013

Given that nobody accused me of defending the Redskins’ name when I ran a contest a few weeks ago to mockingly complain about team names, maybe no one will accuse me of making light of concussions among football players for this week’s contest, Week 1044. Of course, I’ll still be accused of having had a concussion since that’s the only explanation why I picked that obviously inferior entry instead of the complainer’s masterpiece.

This week’s contest prompted me to look up the results of Week 110, the contest from 1995 for funny warning labels. Which made me immediately slate them for inclusion in the Style Invitational Ink of the Day — a daily (duh) feature available, I’m afraid, only on Facebook (bit.ly/inkofday; click Like to get it every day on your Facebook news feed). Earlier this week, I used Elden Carnahan’s winning entry as a graphic meme (thanks to Royal Scion Thing Two for the Photoshopping). I’ll post another graphic tomorrow, and after that I’ll return to the usual format of excerpting about a half-dozen of the funniest and most enduring entries.

My hope is, aside from amusing the fans of the Invite and introducing them to some classic contests from Before Their Time, that readers will want to share their dubious taste in humor with their list of Facebook “friends,” and some of those hapless souls will further infect their own victims, etc., and eventually some of them will check out the Invite and start reading it and even enter the thing. The Ink of the Day still has a cult (i.e., minuscule) membership, but yesterday’s post — the second of three featuring Week 531, cynical takes on inspirational sentiments — was shared 13 times, resulting in more than 1,900 views so far. So it’s not George Takei, but hey, we’re all about quality.

Feel free to e-mail me to nominate a particular set of results for the Ink of the Day. I’m looking for entries that aren’t too topical (if they’re old), plus ones that don’t need a long explanation of what the contest was. The jokes should be funny in themselves, not just because they managed to meet the challenging requirements of that week’s contest.

It’s always nice to run an Ink of the Day that relates to something going on that day; this past Sept. 11, for example, I ran some examples of how the Invite addressed the cataclysm of just a few days before with a wide-open “Make Us Laugh” contest. The entry can be pretty long, even as a meme, if it’s interesting enough: Brendan Beary’s song parody of “Wonderful World,” for our contest for a more appropriate national anthem, was shared all day long on July 4.

I’ve posted an Ink of the Day every single day since I started the feature on March 10; I haven’t repeated any of the entries yet, but I probably will eventually, especially from the early months when they weren’t reaching many people.

The Style Invitational Ink of the Day: Why Wait All Week to Spew Toilet Jokes That Make You Feel Smart?

EZ come, EZ go*: The results of Week 1040

(*Headline by Danielle Nowlin)

I probably wouldn’t have run this contest had I noticed in time that we’d run almost the identical one six years ago (results here), but the Greater Loser Community came through with a variety of nifty ideas for tax reform (deform?) without duplicating the results of Week 709.

It’s the first Inkin’ Memorial, but the third win, for Edmund Conti, whose e-mail address is EdmundPoet and came to us back in 2007 when I based a contest on his “Bananagrams”: rhyming couplets that include two words that are anagrams of each other. The second-place prize that week was two little volumes of Edmund’s light verse: “Quiblets,” terse verse; and “The Ed C. Scrolls,” containing almost as concise but more spiritual fare:
Concerned about the hereafter?
Well, don’t be.
It will be there with joy and laughter.
You won’t be.

This is Edmund’s 81st ink since then, ninth above the fold, which gives the lie to his series of entries over the years about how he never gets any ink. And he’s almost reached the point where he’s playing his age: the Brown University Class of 1951 alumnus was born Jan. 13, 1929.

The second-place Loser — and imminent recipient of our second set of Porkin’ Pigs banks — is a veteran Loser and an almost continual entrant since his debut in Week 375: Mel Loftus blots up Ink No. 66, his 11th above the fold. Mel moved to the D.C. area from Wisconsin a few years ago, but we still haven’t seen him at a Loser event; it’d be great to finally meet him at the Nov. 17 brunch at Kilroy’s in Northern Virginia.

It’s the second straight week “above the fold” for Craig Dykstra, who seems to have returned to the Invite with a vengeance. Craig won the Inkin’ Memorial last week and today gets his choice of “My Cup Punneth Over” Loser mug or “Almost Valuable Player” Grossery Bag. As does Ben Aronin (Loser Anagram “Born Inane”), who got his first Invite ink as a teenager way back in Week 350, and hits No. 51 today (including four wins).

With Malitz Toward ... The fave this week of Sunday Style Editor David Malitz is Mike Gips’s crack at Jay Leno’s deduction for a microwave for warming over his jokes.

Losers Onstage!

There are two more shows, this Friday and Saturday night, for the political comedy satire “The Silk Purse Project” by 47-time Loser Ward Kay and featuring 59-timer Ann Martin in the cast. The Royal Consort and I, along with a Loser contingent, had lots of laughs last weekend at Vienna Baptist Church, just off I-66 at Nutley Street. It’s a full-length play and it starts at 7:30. Here are the details — hope you can make it. Ward even includes one of his inking Invite entries in the script.

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