The Style Conversational
The Style Conversational
Loser-friendly discussion with The Empress of The Style Invitational

Week 967: A second helping of mashups


By the E, Pat Myers

Much less prattling on this morning, as (1) I’m sick and (2) I have to leave for the three-day weekend early in the morning (by the way, I’m likely to have extremely limited access from Friday morning to Sunday evening, so your complaints will have to wait). Already, I see what for me might be a brand-new trick on me by The Post’s devilish “content management system,” Methode: The headline to this week’s Invite didn’t publish online. I just went in and typed it at the top of the story in capital letters; maybe that can be fixed later today.

This week’s contest, Week 967, is pretty straightforward, I hope. Look at the results of Week 963 as your model, but don’t use people’s names. Use something other than people’s names.

How’s that for pithy?

WHEAT: GOLDEN; CHAFF: REALLY CHAFFY: THE RESULTS OF WEEK 963

I’ve noted several times in the past that sometimes, when judging a contest, I begin to despair because so many of the entries are lame -- I might find nothing I like on five consecutive pages of a printout. But when I toss all the lame ones and line up the small group that’s left over, we can end up with a great set of results. And of course, the final list is the only one that readers see.

So it was, in spades, with Week 963 (accidentally headlined “Week 969” in the print paper for maximum confusion). Last week I even posted this to the Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook: “I’ll have enough good ones, I’m sure, but I have to say that the vast majority of the Week 963 portmanteau names -- I think I got about 1,600 to 1,800 -- were stupefyingly bad. “

But then I got rid of about 1,500 to 1,700 of them, and had myself a neat little list of “Before and After” names. In face, when I sent about 60 of them to my predecessor, the Czar, to help me winnow them down, he replied, “These are some of the best results ever.”

And today, when Sunday Style Editor Lynn Medford sent me her usual e-mail saying which entry was her personal favorite of the week, she said instead: “BEST STYLE INVITE YET! ALL ARE MY FAVES. I cannot pick!”

Congratulations to Gil Glass of Washington for starting out right on top, winning the new Inkin’ Memorial with his very first published entry. I hope we’ll be hearing lots more from Gil. Next week we’ll be making up nicer cards than the one I fashioned for the photo, and so I’ll send it out then.

David Ballard of Reston, Va., the primary ink-earner of a family of three Losers (also Andrew of the U.K. and Lee from the South), wins the Wonder Woman costume. David, if you’re not likely to fit into this semi-scanty thing (or know anyone who will), let me know and I can give you another runner-up prize instead. And regular ink-getters Ward Kay and Nan Reiner are just two Losers this week who capitalized on the abundant and so Invite-friendly GOP presidential candidates; even though many of them have hung it up, they leave a legacy of mockery potential.

THE UNPRINTABLES

I’m not sure any one in particular is worthy of the Scarlet Letter, but here are some entries that wouldn’t otherwise see the light of day:

Anne Frank Sinatra: Sang “doobie doobie Jew.” (Dave Ferry)
Babe Ruth Westheimer: The Sultan of Tw-t (Jim and Dana McMillan)
Several like this, but just too early, sorry: Eli Whitney Houston: Drowned inventing the bathtub gin. (Randy Lee)
Hans Christian Andersen Cooper: Fairy tale-writer. (Rob Huffman)
Ron Jeremy Lin: A guy you never, ever would have expected to see in his line of work. (David Ballard)
Janis Joplinda Lovelace: Found that singing too hard is another way to hurt your throat. (Gary Crockett) (I’d considered using this last one, but it’s not like we didn’t have plenty others.)

LOSERVENTS: THIS WEEKEND’S BRUNCH ... AND THE FLUSHIES

The April Loser brunch is Sunday at Cafe Deluxe across from Washington National Cathedral. I’ll be out of town this weekend but we had a great time there last year. Please RSVP to Elden Carnahan if you’d like to come.

And everyone on the e-mail list should have gotten an invitation to the Flushies last night. It’s time to send in your checks and put Dave Prevar’s mind at ease. Here’s the link.


 
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