Hax Philes
Hax Philes
Carolyn taps into her inbox, so you can be Hax, too.

Who dances backward, in heels?

The last line of this letter--“My guess is, my friends have no idea this becomes an issue for us”--is a big part of the reason I’m posting it. The issue has not only never occurred to me, but also never turned up in my inbox before. Here goes:

“My partner and I have been in a relationship for over 11 years. All of our friends know we are gay and in a long-term committed relationship. My friends are inclusive and supportive and our sexuality is actually a non-issue. Recently, a number of our straight friends have invited us to their weddings; we are invited as a couple rather than one of us ‘and guest.’ When we go to the weddings, my partner and I are always concerned about slow dancing together. To avoid being a potential spectacle and to reduce any possibility of making people feel awkward, we end up sitting out the slow dances, which is depressing. What is the proper etiquette in situations like this? My guess is, my friends have no idea this becomes an issue for us.”

So--does this not come up because the only answer is to dance and let people deal with it? Because it’s a matter of personal comfort and so the answer will vary by person and by situation? Or ...?

- Carolyn Hax

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