These two hardy perennials rank among the Invite’s most widely entered contests every year.
Every year since 1995, upon the suggestion of Loser and racing enthusiast Mike Hammer, we’ve presented a list of horses eligible for that year’s Triple Crown and asked you to “breed” any two and name their “foal” based on a clever combination of their names. Before the Empress instituted a 25-entry limit, some Losers would submit 500 names in a week. Since 2006, there’s also been a spinoff contest for “grandfoals” from the winning entries.
Among the notable nags of the past decade:
Rock Hard Ten x Read the Footnotes = Centimeters (Kevin Cuddihy, Fairfax, Va., Week 552, 2004)
He’s a Lumberjack x Lawyer Ron = Chop Suey (Rich Muenchow, Bethesda, Md., Week 656, 2006)
Love Me Tendon x Crude Remark = In Sinew VIII (Russell Beland, Springfield, Va., Week 660, 2006, from the first grandfoal contest)
Months Ending in R x Nats Blow Another = Days Ending in Y (Pam Sweeney, Germantown, Md., Week 712, 2007, another grandfoal)
Pyro + Mapmaker = Your Heatin’ Chart (Cy Gardner, Arlington, Va., Week 759, 2008)
Pitched Perfectly x Gone Astray = Don Larceny (Andrew Hoenig, Rockville, Md., Week 810, 2009)
D’ Funnybone x Lethal Combination = MansLaughter (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va., Week 863, 2010)
You’re A-Peein’ x Excessive Passion = The Whizzer of Id (Malcolm Fleschner, Palo Alto, Calif., Week 867, 2010, a grandfoal)
Every two years, with each new session of Congress, we have a contest to create a “bill” that combines the names of two or more (sometimes many more) congressional freshmen. Among the spicier sausage-making:
The Foxx-Stenholm resolution, stating that no daughter of mine is leaving the house dressed like that. (Brendan Beary, Great Mills, Md., Week 590, 2005)
The Bright-Lee-Fleming- Massa-Cao-Fudge Bovine Biofuels Development Act (Dudley Thompson, Cary, N.C., Week 799, 2009)
The Rush-Farr-Olver-Waters-Slaughter-Towns-Kaptur-Hastings-Castle-Kildee-King Act to commemorate the achievements of William the Conqueror in 1066. (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park, Md., Week 861, 2010, in an off-year contest in which only longtime members of Congress could be used)
The Duncan-Pearce Act to reform CIA interrogation techniques. (Christopher Lamora, Guatemala City, Week 903, 2011)
The Johnson-Hanabusa Act, which that would make self-gratification a federal crime. (Matt Kane, New York, Week 903, 2011)
Be sure to check out the many other segments of this 20th-anniversary Style Invitational retrospective: classic limericks; song parodies; neologisms (new words); and dozens of other winning entries from the past decade. Plus how to enter this week’s new contest, and a look at the Losers and their remarkable subculture. And more! See the index of articles here.