‘Beauty and the Beast’: Hideously blah
●“Beauty and the Beast” (9 p.m. on CW)
A new but forgettable TV treatment for an old story, with results that look very “CW,” if you know what I mean. This time, Vincent the beast
(Jay Ryan) is an emergency room doctor who joined the military after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks and became an unwitting lab rat for a vaccine that turned soldiers into hyperaggressive killing machines. The battalion seroconverted into beasts and were eradicated by top-secret order — except for Vincent, who escaped to New York to seek a cure. (Rather than a lot of makeup and prosthetics being slathered on, Vincent’s disfiguration is symbolized by a manly scar on Ryan’s pretty, pretty cheek.)
Kristin Kreuk co-stars as Catherine, a sexy homicide detective who had a terrifying encounter with the beast years ago, when he saved her from masked gunmen. She might also hold the key to the cure he seeks. And, of course, she has the hots for him. The rest is sweeping nighttime views of Manhattan and alt-rock ballads. Be still my heart, but not this still.