‘Scandal’ recap: We could really use some gladiating

Warning: This recap contains spoilers.

This week’s episode took a page from the show that taught me how to binge-watch like a champion: ‘Law and Order: SVU.’ The ripped-from-the-headlines plots are a trademark of the NBC show, but I don’t think it’s what Olivia Pope and Associates (or we) need right now.

I didn’t care for the latest client to seek the gladiators’ help — Sen. Richard Meyers, a “perving, sexting, pervy-perv” accused of murdering a young woman to whom he sent pictures of his, er, Richard. But props to Abby for using the word “perving.” Also, I think we can all agree that Redwood Johnson > Carlos Danger.

But we need not concern ourselves with Richard. This episode also brought: Lisa Kudrow, who led to Mellie’s southern-fried encounter with a hot mike, a rekindled romance between Abby and David and a budding bromance (!!!) between Huck and Jake.

We also learned more about Fitz’s connection to Operation Remington and ... Rowan (who still owns everyone, btw). I’d rather Cyrus be president, but I felt a weird sympathy for Fitz when he orchestrated a military funeral for Peter Foster. Where are you taking us, Shonda Rhimes?

The honor of most unbelievable storyline goes to Olivia throwing Jake out of her apartment. Who would throw Scott Foley out of their apartment? Spoiler alert: No one. Most legit? Mellie’s hot mike moment. Cyrus scolding her — “What’s the second rule of politics? The same rule applies to gun ownership: the microphone is always loaded.” — was icing on the cake.

I wasn’t the only one who saw Fitz stand up for Mellie, right? Also, let us not forget Cyrus and James, the shamelessly unrealistic couple whose pillow talk involved James, the serious journalist, begging his hubby, the White House Chief of Staff, for a quote. Oh, sure, honey.

I’m not sure if I’m more in love with Abby and David (Dabby) as a couple or with Abby’s hair, but I do know that I like where this is going. Also, thanks Dabby for this amazing exchange, which made the whole perv plotline worth it.

David: “Is that a pic of your...”

Abby: “Yep. It’s an addiction, David. I can’t help myself.”

Speaking of addictions, I’m worried about Huck, who is continuing his impressive whiskey as a metaphor for murder act, but I can worry about him less now that he’s teamed up with Jake (to protect Olivia and also, presumably, take care of Rowan. Superheroes among us.). That leaves me more time to worry about Quinn, whose bloodthirst rivals one of the baby vampires from “Twilight.” I will totally enable you, Baby Huck. You are crazy in the best way.

Once again, “Scandal” has mastered the art of making my heart beat really fast in the last five minutes of the episode. It figures that Jake and Olivia’s makeout sesh would be interrupted by The Fitz Phone. Jake smartly offered to refill Olivia’s larger-than-your-face wine glass in a very loud voice, causing a dejected Fitz to cut the call short.

I almost felt sorry for Fitz as he exited his limo like a sad toddler and walked down the very long hallway, but that turned to horror/delight as he came face-to-face with Rowan.

A week until the next episode (and a full look at that gorgeous black and white gown)? Our reunion, gladiators, will be long overdue.

Lingering questions: Where is Lisa Kudrow’s baby and really, “Scandal,” an abandoned baby is the best we can do? How far back do Fitz and Rowan go? Will Huck ever slip and say murder instead of whiskey at one of his meetings? Also, when do I get to learn more about Harrison? Need. More. Harrison.

Bethonie Butler is a producer and a reporter on The Post’s engagement team. She oversees online comments and has also contributed to The Style Blog and She The People.
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