My best friend and I bought a condo. We lived in it, then rented it out. She’s been the main landlord because she lives closer (I paid her for her time). Now, we’re looking to sell, and I’ve found out that she’s been doing some unethical things in terms of handling the tenants and what she’s disclosed to them. I also think she might be falsely charging me for her time. I just want to let the friendship die. Should I risk the conflict of confronting her? — D.C. Quandary
The process of selling a house can be stressful for any duo, let alone when one person thinks the other one has been screwing them over. And if she behaves unethically during the proceedings, you could be on the hook for money, legal troubles or both, which I’m guessing is not something that you’d enjoy.
Confront her, but not before you have some legal backup in case things go sour. If you’re truly ready to let the friendship die, you don’t have much to lose — her officially turning on you isn’t much worse than her betraying you behind your back. On the other hand, bear in mind there’s a possibility you don’t have the whole story. Go in to the discussion with an open mind on the off chance that your best friend is still worthy of that title.
What Happens in Vegas Is Pricey
I’m very frustrated with my fiance, who is about to spend a ton of money to go to a bachelor party in Las Vegas. We’re trying desperately to save money for a down payment on a house, and we have been scrimping on so many things and I have sacrificed so many things in view of this goal. I can’t help but feel resentful about this, but then he says I am nagging and just don’t want him to have fun and that it’s the bachelor party idea I have a problem with. — Help! Va.
First, be honest with yourself if it’s truly about the money, or if it’s also about the visualization of him getting gyrated upon by an oil-slicked, half-naked woman named Cherri. (You won’t get anywhere in your discussions if you’re denying your real feelings.)
That said, you have every right to expect that your savings won’t be squandered frivolously. But it doesn’t have to be all or none. Work with him to find out what he thinks is a reasonable expenditure, and then negotiate, negotiate, negotiate.
Perhaps he can “earn” some of the money by making even further spending cuts for the foreseeable future.
Art by Ben Claassen III for Express