Lick Schtick: Beloved 'Lizard Lick Towing' Season Finale

March 9, 2011


In the apparently real town of Lizard Lick, N.C., there is apparently a real company called Lizard Lick Towing and Recovery, run by two beefy repossessors (Bobby Brantley, left, and Ron Shirley, right, with Amy Shirley). Enter a TruTV reality show named after the business.

Sounds lowbrow, but “Lizard Lick Towing,” whose season finale airs on Monday, is quite educational. Here’s what we learn.

Words to live by: “We try to never leave a job without a vehicle.”

How to size up the threat level: Going into the backwoods “always makes [repossession] a whole lot more scary.”

What’s worse than being shot at: Being doused in gasoline, then shot at.

How to beg your wife to take you back after she left you because you let the work of repossession intrude on a date: “Honey, please, Honey, please, Honey, please.”

How not to answer the phone when your angry wife doesn’t come to work: “Lizard Lick Towing, wassup?”

A better greeting: “May I help you?”

A saying worth repeating even though it lacks internal logic: “I know you’re all roostered up, but I ain’t feelin’ your cock-a-doodle-doo.”

Written by Express contributor Marc Silver
Photo by Jeremy Freeman/TruTV

Marc Silver has been watching TV since the days when people wrapped aluminum foil around TV antennae to improve reception.
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