Strings Attached: Puppets With a Sexual Orientation

August 17, 2011


A campaign was waged to convince “Sesame Street” to stage a gay wedding for roommate puppets Bert and Ernie. “Sesame Street’s” response: The pair “remain puppets and do not have a sexual orientation.” Case closed … or is it? In fact, many TV puppets past and present do indeed have a sexual orientation:

» Wooden marionette Charlie McCarthy speaking to human cowgirl Dale Evans:
Charlie: “May I have a kiss goodbye?”
Evans: “Well, I can’t see any harm in that!”
Charlie: “Oh. I wish you could. A harmless kiss doesn’t sound very thrilling.”

» TV Guide’s description of dragon puppet Ollie of “Kukla, Fran and Ollie”: “Oliver J. Dragon III [is] an incurably romantic hand puppet with … soulful button-eyes.” Among his celebrity crushes: Tallulah “I’m as pure as the driven slush” Bankhead.

» Though Oscar the Grouch’s first love is trash, he also has romantic feelings for girlfriend Grundgetta.

» Miss Piggy: “I, moiself, have always enjoyed a good scrimmage.”
P.S. There’s already been a gay puppet wedding. On July 24, investment banker Rod of Broadway’s “Avenue Q” married fellow gay puppet Ricky, sealing the deal with a passionate kiss.

Written by Express contributor Marc Silver
Photo courtesy PBS

Marc Silver has been watching TV since the days when people wrapped aluminum foil around TV antennae to improve reception.
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