On the Spot: Java Mummy


Here Come the Mummies is a Nashville, Tenn.-based funk band with a difference: Its 13 members are 5,000-year-old desert nomads cursed by a pharaoh to spend eternity as living, linen-wrapped dead. At least, that’s their story — conventional wisdom suggests they’re musicians avoiding contract disputes with their labels by performing in disguise. Vocalist and percussionist Java Mummy answered our queries via email, because funk doesn’t translate well over the phone.

The mummification process involves having one’s brain pulled out through one’s nose. How did this affect your singing voice?
It greatly enhances the reverberation of sound in our bodies.

Vampires and werewolves are experiencing a resurgence in popularity as romantic figures. Is there a future for mummy romance?
Everybody loves a sexy mummy. The trouble is, there’s been a real lack of handsome mummies — thus we are seen as foul-smelling, slow-moving oafs. We’re changing this one lady at a time.

Is there an incantation that changes you all into savage killers?
Baby, we ain’t killers … Lady Killers like Cee Lo, perhaps. But all in all, we are simply lovers, not fighters.

Have you had any difficulties with the TSA during your travels?
Hasn’t everyone? They never believe our dates of birth.

Linen wrinkles quite easily. How do you keep your wrappings fresh and crisp?
I am unsure if you have ever seen us in person, but there is nothing fresh or crisp about us.

Winter is coming, and that means dry skin. What moisturizer do you use to keep your desiccated flesh soft and supple?
We use lady tears, from the trail of broken hearts in the towns we leave. That, and a diet rich in chia seed.

State Theatre, 220 N. Washington St., Falls Church; Thu., 8:30 p.m., $20; 703-237-0300.
Kristen Page-Kirby covers film for The Washington Post Express.
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