Another year gone, another year I’ve failed to get out of my miserable job. I can’t seem to get motivated for the job search. I have plenty of excuses — perhaps some of them legitimate. I’m usually too wiped at the end of the day to even begin to think about putting my resume together. My girlfriend has become increasingly annoyed with me, since I hate my job so much but do nothing to change it. Any motivational words? -In A Rut
You’re too wiped on weeknights to put your resume together? So, on a weekend, you break the task into several tiny pieces that you can tackle one at a time throughout the week. Yes, I’m talking tiny — writing one phrase that describes your current position can count for one evening’s work.
You can also follow the “five-minute rule,” a boon for procrastinators everywhere: Start the task and work for only five minutes. It forces you to tackle the hardest part (the beginning) and gets you into the groove without getting overwhelmed by the pressure of the whole task. And by the time you stop, you’ll have made it even easier to start up again the next time.
Before You Walk Away Forever
I confronted my husband with evidence of cheating. He claims it was a one-night stand because he was so stressed and intoxicated. I don’t believe that it happened just that once. I’ve questioned him about infidelity issues in the past (i.e., phone numbers is his pockets, women’s texts). He says he’s sorry, but I say he’s sorry he got caught. I feel so betrayed by him because I love him so much. I know before I let go, we should seek counseling. Can you suggest any marriage counselors in the area? -Almost Gone
I’m so sorry for the turmoil you’ve been through. Unfortunately, I can’t suggest individual providers in this column (I’d be buried under fruit baskets). But I think you know that you should not say goodbye to this marriage without counseling.
Even if you know in your heart that you’re done, talking with someone can help you get the insight and closure that will make the decision feel clear and correct, which will benefit you down the road as you rebuild your life. Check your insurance for listings, or check out Apahelpcenter.org. If he won’t go, go alone.