‘Bachelor’ Lessons

January 18, 2012

I was sad to read that the Parents Television Council rates “The Bachelor” (ABC, Monday, 8 p.m.) as possibly the worst prime-time show for children. Really, it’s, like, the BEST SHOW EVER for kids, full of instructive moments to help them on the road to adulthood.

I mean, OK, yes, there are parts children will not like, such as when this season’s Bachelor, Ben Flajnik, above, kisses girls on the lips and makes yucky smooching noises. EWWWW!

But let’s focus on the positive. Little girls get interesting ideas about future careers, like “VIP Cocktail Waitress” and “Dental Consultant.” Little boys learn what to say to impress the opposite sex, like, “Tell me more about you.”

Children, do you know how to tell that someone is lying? When they say, “I’m not gonna lie …”

Another important lesson: Be neat! One girl says, “I found [a lady’s] underwear in the bed” of a previous boyfriend.

And children will see that adults are really just big kids! Blakely, a waitress, is mean to other girls. Then she goes in another room and curls into a ball in the corner. Why is Blakely doing that? She is giving herself a TIME-OUT!

Marc Silver has been watching TV since the days when people wrapped aluminum foil around TV antennae to improve reception.
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