Eden’s Whirl


I wasn’t planning to watch “Eden’s World” (Logo, Mondays, 10 p.m.) but People magazine’s website made me. It asked, “Eden’s World: Will You Watch?” So how could I not tune in?

Eden is one of those little girls who wears a bucket of makeup and fake ringlets and enters pageants. She was a star on TLC’s “Toddlers & Tiaras.” But Eden is now 6, and her mom wants to move Eden’s “career” forward. So Eden retires from pageants and pursues her dream: “I wanna be a star.”

What is Eden’s world like? It is a world in which a little girl wears an aggressively pouffy tutu everywhere she goes! Her snippy publicist and earnest manager threaten to kill each other, prompting Eden to make gunshot noises. Eden auditions for the record label A&M, standing barefoot on a conference room table and singing, off-key: “They call me cutie, cutie patootie, rocking out the pageants and shaking my bootie.” An A&M exec says the only thing he can think of saying without being cruel, which is, “She’s fearless, and that is a quality that is very rare to find.” Eden’s pushy mom thinks that’s practically a RECORD CONTRACT!

Oh, Logo. Oh, Eden. Oh, future therapist bills.

Marc Silver has been watching TV since the days when people wrapped aluminum foil around TV antennae to improve reception.
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