Single mom (and Sarah Palin daughter) Bristol has a new reality show (above, “Life’s a Tripp,” Lifetime, Tuesdays, 10 p.m.). So does mom-to-be Snooki of “Jersey Shore” fame (“Snooki and JWoww,” MTV, Thursdays, 10 p.m.) Let’s assess these young, overexposed parents!
Intelligence. Bristol says “Humpty Dumpty” is “too long” to read to her son. Snooki is surprised to learn she must pay for electricity and “sewage” at her new apartment.
Relationship with baby daddy. Snooki is engaged to college student Jionni and expects the engagement to last “for a couple years” before marriage. Bristol doesn’t know when she’ll see Levi; she wishes Tripp “would have a dad to discipline him.”
Hygiene. Bristol moves into a mansion with “tons of bidets.” In need of toilet paper, JWoww covets the bag holding Snooki’s bagel. Snooki admonishes her, “Can you not wipe your vagina with my bagel?”
Tolerance. Snooki has no patience for her own mother’s advice, pouting and saying, “Mom go away.” After a heckler at a bar calls Bristol’s mom “a whore,” Bristol asks if his hostility is “because you’re a homosexual.”
Conclusion: God help the children!