Single mom (and Sarah Palin daughter) Bristol has a new reality show (above, â€śLifeâ€™s a Tripp,â€ť Lifetime, Tuesdays, 10 p.m.). So does mom-to-be Snooki of â€śJersey Shoreâ€ť fame (â€śSnooki and JWoww,â€ť MTV, Thursdays, 10 p.m.) Letâ€™s assess these young, overexposed parents!
Intelligence. Bristol says â€śHumpty Dumptyâ€ť is â€śtoo longâ€ť to read to her son. Snooki is surprised to learn she must pay for electricity and â€śsewageâ€ť at her new apartment.
Relationship with baby daddy. Snooki is engaged to college student Jionni and expects the engagement to last â€śfor a couple yearsâ€ť before marriage. Bristol doesnâ€™t know when sheâ€™ll see Levi; she wishes Tripp â€śwould have a dad to discipline him.â€ť
Hygiene. Bristol moves into a mansion with â€śtons of bidets.â€ť In need of toilet paper, JWoww covets the bag holding Snookiâ€™s bagel. Snooki admonishes her, â€śCan you not wipe your vagina with my bagel?â€ť
Tolerance. Snooki has no patience for her own motherâ€™s advice, pouting and saying, â€śMom go away.â€ť After a heckler at a bar calls Bristolâ€™s mom â€śa whore,â€ť Bristol asks if his hostility is â€śbecause youâ€™re a homosexual.â€ť
Conclusion: God help the children!