‘Bad’ Dreams

People often ask me, “Do you watch ‘Breaking Bad’?” My answer: “No, I do not.” And then they always say, “IT IS SO GOOD!!!!”

I haven’t tuned in because I feared the content would exceed my maximum number of “intense plot elements”: Cancer-stricken high school chemistry teacher becomes a “cooker” of crystal meth to provide for his family and runs into gangland violence.

But the show’s fifth and final season launches Sunday (AMC, 10 p.m.), so it’s NOW or NEVER. To prepare for the premiere, I watched one episode from the fourth season. It was indeed SO GOOD. And SO INTENSE. As the meth-cooking teacher, Bryan Cranston, above, is scary intense. He gets in a bloody brawl with his “loser addict” protegee. Someone’s head is blown off. For comic relief, Cranston’s accountant wife foils an IRS investigation by displaying intense amounts of cleavage and pretending to be a ditz.

Then I went to bed and dreamed I was being frisked by TSA, and I had cocaine on me that I don’t know how I got, and I was so afraid they would find the drugs.

So, you know where I’ll be Sunday night: sipping lemonade and watching HGTV’s “Celebrity Motor Homes.”

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