Credible Hulk

September 7, 2012

Superman is faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, but how quickly can he get around when a large chunk of the Red Line is shut down? I’m not sure any comic book legend has the power to put up with what Washingtonians will face this weekend: one of the largest service disruptions to date.

From 10 p.m. Friday until system closing on Sunday, there will be no Red Line train service from Dupont Circle to NoMa-Gallaudet. For riders taking the replacement shuttle buses to any of the seven affected stations, Metro suggests allowing for 30-50 minutes of additional travel time. Transferring to the Yellow or Orange lines? Single tracking equals an extra 10-15 minutes for those trips. No work is scheduled for the Blue Line, but trains will be running at 16-minute intervals anyway.

Only one line is going untouched as part of this weekend’s work. Luckily, it’s the right line for one easily agitated guy who recently joined Twitter.

“HULK GONNA AVOID RED LINE. HULK ALWAYS FEEL MORE AT HOME ON GREEN LINE,” WMATA_HULK told me in an email interview.

WMATA_HULK is like his many smash-happy brethren on Twitter who opine — always in all caps — on a variety of topics, including movies, grammar and feminism. His thing is public transportation in D.C.

So what’s WMATA_HULK’s origin story? “DRIVING TOO STRESSFUL. TRAFFIC MAKE HULK TURN INTO ENORMOUS GREEN RAGE MONSTER,” he wrote. And although he’s fine being a pedestrian, it creates problems for everyone else: “HULK MAKE PRETTY GOOD TIME ON FOOT. HULK WISH HULK DIDN’T ALWAYS CRUSH BIKESHARE THOUGH.”

So Metro really is his best option, despite the frustrations. Somehow, against all odds, WMATA_HULK keeps a good attitude about the whole thing. “HULK KNOWS METRO IS OLD. HULK THINK UPKEEP IMPORTANT. HULK WANT HELP REBUILD METRO, BUT HULK TOO CRUSHY,” he says. “HULK TRIES BE PATIENT WITH METRO.”

Wise words from someone who looks the way we’ll all be feeling this weekend.

Smashing Tweets

In WMATA_HULK’s two weeks on Twitter, he’s offered a unique — and comical — look at D.C.’s public transit woes. A few favorites:

HULK HEARING ORANGE CRUSH ATTACKING #WMATA. HULK ON WAY TO FIGHT ORANGE VILLAIN.

HULK WANT SMASH PEOPLE DELAYING NEW SILVER SPRING TRANSIT-THING

HULK CAN’T BELIEVE FOOTAGE FROM RIDE ON BUS SMASHING HOUSE. THAT HULK’S JOB!

Vicky Hallett is a MisFits columnist and the Fit editor for Express.
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