Treadmill TV

This year’s lists of the top shows are all pretty much the same, from Mad (Men) to (Breaking) Bad. Let’s break new ground. Here are my picks for 2012’s Best TV Shows for Treadmill Viewing.

“Duck Dynasty” The A&E reality show, above, stars bearded men who run a duck-call biz, blow things up, slice things with swords, and claim soda can get you drunk if you drink a lot after being awake for 54 hours. Their stupidity is a fine treadmill distraction.

“Judge Judy” No TV judge can match sharp-tongued Judy, whose put-downs spice up a boring jog: “She’s 18 years old and has the judgment of a turtle.”

“The Today Show” Ratings are slipping, personalities apparently hate each other. But nobody does seamless infotainment better. Treadmill miles just fly by!

“House Hunters” This year, a participant in the show, in which a home buyer chooses between three properties, confessed she’d bought a house before taping, and two of the homes she visited weren’t even for sale. Nonetheless, real estate voyeurism makes laps pass so fast you hardly mind the alleged skulduggery.

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