Earthbound Stars

February 5, 2013
frank-ocean

In 1977, NASA sent recordings into space on board the two Voyager probes. The compendium of sounds — rain, heartbeats and Chuck Berry among them — was meant to give aliens an aural snapshot of Earth. As the 55th annual Grammy Awards (Feb. 10, 8 p.m., CBS) approach, I wonder what the nominees would tell our distant friends/would-be invaders.

The broad categories worry me the most here. I hope Frank Ocean’s “Channel Orange” wins Album of the Year so we can look like we have taste, but we could easily end up with fun.’s “Some Nights” telling the universe that the best musical work America had to offer in 2012 featured songs that could plug right into a smartphone commercial. And the idea that Carly Rae Jepsen could grab Song of the Year and have “Call Me Maybe” end up on a “Now That’s What I Call Earth!” disc is just too much to bear.

I am psyched for the live performances, though: Rihanna, Justin Timberlake, Elton John. Less so for Maroon 5 (even with Alicia Keys).

Stephen Hawking has warned against making contact with extraterrestrials, lest they head our way in search of more Chuck Berry. Maybe Adam Levine can stave them off.

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