Doctor, No!

Channing Tatum is not a real doctor. Do not be fooled.
Channing Tatum is not a real doctor. Do not be fooled.

Friday brings “Side Effects” with Channing Tatum, who hopefully will take off his shirt. The previews are a little confusing, but there’s some sort of medicine involved — and medicine in movies often turns out to be a bad idea.

1. ‘Limitless’
In this 2011 stinker, Bradley Cooper plays a struggling writer who gets his hands on a miracle drug that makes him brilliant. Turns out, getting hooked on the drug isn’t so smart.

2. ‘Requiem for a Dream’
Darren Aronofsky’s 2000 film is better than any “Just Say No” PSA. Most of the storylines involve illegal drugs, though poor Ellen Burstyn’s addiction starts with a prescription for amphetamines meant to help her lose weight.

3. ‘Batman Begins’
Jonathan Crane (Cillian Murphy) is a bad doctor in the first film of the Dark Knight trilogy. And we mean bad: He develops a toxin that makes people terrified of pretty much anything. Someone’s ignoring the Hippocratic Oath.

4. ‘Awake’
This 2007 thriller is about the phenomenon of “anesthetic awareness,” where people are entirely conscious during surgery even though they look conked-out. So now there’s this to worry about.

5. ‘Patch Adams’
The real-life doctor that Robin Williams played in this 1998 sapfest is a good guy, we’re sure. And treating kids while using humor is probably a good idea. But all it means for adults is we have to watch Robin Williams flail about for two hours.

Kristen Page-Kirby covers film for The Washington Post Express.
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Rudi Greenberg · February 6, 2013