Being He-Man

February 21, 2013
Who wouldn't be happy to find their house buried under a metric ton of snow?
Who wouldn’t be happy to find their house buried under a metric ton of snow?

Werner Herzog’s new doc, “Happy People: A Year in the Taiga,” opens Friday at E Street Cinema. Herzog spent a year following three Siberian fur trappers, none of whom ever complain about the cold. They could give these fictional manly men a run for their money.

Josey Wales
In 1976’s “The Outlaw Josey Wales,” Clint Eastwood plays a farmer who joins the Confederacy and takes revenge on Union soldiers who murdered his family. He’s such a badass, he literally brings a knife to a gunfight.

John McClane
For five movies, Bruce Willis has accomplished superhero-level crimefighting with zero superpowers. He doesn’t even have a utility belt, unlike SOME people (looking at you, Batman).

Major Reisman
Lee Marvin will punch you in the face and kick you three times before you hit the floor. And he’s not scared of you — in 1967’s “The Dirty Dozen,” he turns a group of convicts into an elite, Nazi-fighting squad.

Snake Plissken
New Yorkers think they’re so tough; in 1981’s “Escape From New York,” Kurt Russell really is, since New York is now a giant prison. And his name is “Snake.” You’ve got to be manly to pull that off.

Master Chief John Urgayle
This slot could have gone to Jordan O’Neill, Demi Moore’s character in 1997’s “G.I. Jane,” but Viggo Mortensen’s SEAL instructor did everything she did, and he did it with a manly mustache.

Kristen Page-Kirby covers film for The Washington Post Express.
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Rudi Greenberg · February 21, 2013